ten dollar couch

Summers over...

2010-11-01T14:18:00.000-07:00

....but it is a beautiful fall day. It was 28 degrees this morning and its working on 60 right now. Thanks to good friends, our mountain of fire wood (thank you Spencer for the saw and trailer, and Lenny and Dad for the slave labor) is completely split (thank you Dale for the splitter) and mostly stacked. Our woodstove is FINALLY installed with double-wall pipe in all the right places and I am feeling much better about the weather turning cold.

We have been watching football on Sunday nights and Noah is really into tackling. This has become a bit of a problem. Lucy is fast enough to escape but Lydia has been taking a beating. Apparently so have the kids at day care. I keep getting reassurances from friends and acquaintances that type of thing is normal for a two year old but mostly I feel relieved when I see other kids getting into trouble too.

Kass and I have been wondering if we are selling Lydia short with our "boy-centric" house. Is there some psychological reason that girls need different toys than boys do? I'm not even sure that I know what a girl toy is except that its pink. Last night at dinner, after bringing in the kids who had both been happily racing cars and making engine noises, Kass said "do you think we should get her a doll?" I feel so inadequate to teach a girl how to be a girl. I just didn't do that stuff, but I know I had some dolls and stuff when I was little so there must have been a point where I choose what I liked. Its not like I have to buy her a Barbie... is it?

life in 100 words or less

2010-07-25T22:06:00.000-07:00

Noah loves to wrestle Lydia vice-versa.
The kids have made up their own language.
Work is going OK, but just thinking about Monday makes me miss my kids.
I have realized that I am a real-live-bonified mom now and I am surprisingly cool with that.
Lydia is really trying to crawl but still no teeth.
Both kids are crazy about watermelon.
Lucy is afraid to got for bike rides because of the neighborhood dogs.
I love my house, my yard, and my five minute commute.
Bed is calling.

1 down, 24 to go

2010-06-04T21:34:00.000-07:00

I have officially survived my first pay-period at the new job. I have to say that things are going pretty well in the way that new jobs do, and I have only really made an ass out of myself once or twice. My wonderful and much appreciated mom has been driving up for the past two weeks to watch the kids on Thursdays since we don't have Daycare set up for that day. I am so grateful for the safe loving homes that my kids are in while I am at work but I still feel better when they are with family. This change has been hardest on the kids (including the furry one) but I'm not ready to think about that yet.

We were all excited about starting work on our new house this weekend but the mortgage didn't process in time so we are stuck with trying to get everything done next weekend. The seller also go pissed and pulled the woodstove, range, fridge, dishwasher, and hot tub (we told her she needed to fix some un-disclosed damage or re-think her prices on the appliances she wanted to sell us so instead of doing that she just freaked out) so now we need to find some of the more necessary things on that list. It is going to be hard to get this done in the evenings after work. Tomorrow we have decided to forget about the house at least for the morning and go for a much needed hike.

We have had almost a week without snow! Hopefully it will last. I think I am just going to start wearing tee shirts regardless.

the last day of normal

2010-05-20T20:38:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my last day then I start the big jump to full time on Monday. I'm sad about leaving. I remember being so excited when I got this job four years ago...here are the pictures...That is my happy dance and "pretty" face. I was stoked.

Kass said he was sure I would be a "lifer." It was my first job out of college where I actually used my degree. I traveled all over Nevada, California, and Idaho and spent one awesome summer mapping wetlands at Kirkwood.

My Boss's have been like mother hens who fussed over the weather and sent me home in company jeeps when they were worried about my car getting over the pass, loaned me trucks to move furniture, gave me all the time off that I asked for...always...every time...no exceptions.

...and then convinced themselves that what I really wanted to do was eat, sleep, and breath GIS and pushed me like crazy to sell myself as a professional when I was just a kid with a measly BS fresh out of college. I won't miss the stress but I have to say that I have tackled and succeeded at projects that I would never have taken if I had a choice in the matter. Its been good for my confidence but really hard on my intestines.

So now I am starting my first real job without "Technician" in the title. Maybe this is the job that will make me feel like an adult. Maybe.

A very good day

2010-05-04T21:30:00.000-07:00

today I...

-Talked to my new boss about scheduling and got the "ok" to work from home and pretty much do whatever I need to to spend time with my kids (as long as the work is getting done)

-Learned that part of my new job will be doing snow surveys (read: getting paid to heli-ski)

-heard from the realtor that the bank has approved our offer on the house and we can move in on June 3rd

- got off work early and had an extra hour to play with my kids

I've been so stressed about daycare and work stuff lately and yesterday and I have been really embarrassingly whiny. Today I have been just trying to focus on how good I have it. I am leaving a great job for another great job, not because I have to but because I CHOOSE to. I have a safe warm house. I have a real-live partner who washes dished, changes diapers, does laundry, and is dedicated to his family. I live in a massive outdoor playground. I have cars that run, a dog that doesn't bark all night, and neighbors who would drive me to the hospital if I cut off my toe and needed stitches (random dish washing worst-case-scenario). I have people that love me all over the country and I think maybe even a few in Tahoe. Life is good. Really good. I truly grateful for what I have and excited about the future. If you hear me whining about ANYTHING just give me a good smack and tell me to get over it.

Fun note: Noah can't say birthday. It comes out as "herbity" as in:" 'appy herbity ebba!"

JJ

2010-04-27T22:49:00.000-07:00

My friend died today
I remember
his beard. black then salt and pepper
his mysterious tatoos
his old beat up knees and how he wouldn't talk about it
the old trailer in the desert
salsa
lots of bear hugs
my uncle guido
old hurts he tried not to let a kid see
bad jokes
the teenagers he took in
how I kept saying that I was going to visit soon...

I saw him yesterday. I don't know if he knew i was there but we talked for an hour. I hope he remembers me.

ch ch ch changes

2010-04-17T14:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, so its been a month.

It is officially spring! All the bulbs are up and I only have two patches of snow left in the yard. Today it was almost 60 and Lydia got her first sun burn at the Earth day festivities. It smells so good outside!

We STILL haven't heard from the bank about our house but every time we talk to the Realtor he says its still looking good. Patience.

We went up to Oregon and had a great visit with Kass' folks. It rained a lot but for Noah that just means more puddles to splash in. We got to see Jarod and some friends and even had a couple of "dates" (Kass hates it when I call them that but what else do you call it when we get to leave the kids, get out of the house and spend time together? "Date" is just so nice and concise.) Anyway, THANK YOU LENNY AND IRMA!!!

While we were on vacation, Josh and Alyssa had their baby girl, Addison Saige Loubet. She is absolutely beautiful and it made me so happy to meet her. It is a completely new and different feeling to be an Aunt. Here is an amazing, tiny little addition to our family: I get to love her and watch her grow and develop, but I don't have change her poopy butt and I can give her back when she starts crying.

You know that NRCS job I mentioned in passing? Yeah, you probably didn't even notice. Well, as of May 24th I will be back on the Federal payroll as a Soil Conservationist. I am REALLY excited about the work. The job is reportedly 50% (min) field work and I won't have to leave the state and my family to do it. I will be working on some watershed scale erosion control projects with sounds like a ton of fun. I have been dreaming of this job since I graduated from UWyo...but its full time. We think we can juggle out schedules so that we only have to have the kids in daycare three days a week, but it is going to be tough. We have prayed and stressed about this and then jumped in when the job came through so we will just see what happens. It is only a Term position (meaning it is guaranteed for anywhere between 13 months and 4 years) and it is SNPLMA funded which means there is a good chance of it lasting at least three years (until those funds dry up). I figure we can try it for a year and if I can't cope I can just go back to RCI with some great experience and get my part time schedule back. I am really nervous about how I am going to handle the schedule but I feel like this is the door that God is opening now so I should just trust and go through it.

Spring Fever

2010-03-18T20:49:00.000-07:00

The snow is melting and I have tulips and crocus popping their heads up out of the dirt. Half of my back yard and now most of the deck is melted. Noah has been having a blast splashing and throwing pine cones in the puddles, although we did have a learning moment today when he jump into a big puddle in his tenny-shoes (sp?) We've been doing a lot of laundry but it has been fun.

Last weekend I was feeling really frantic and desperately wanted to get away from Tahoe. We were trying to go camping but the weather wasn't cooperative. We ended up taking a day trip down to Sacramento to see some friends and get out of the snow. While we were waiting for Linda and Shane we played in a park in an older town that was swallowed up by the sprawl. It still managed to feel like a town somehow. Must have been the chickens. There were lots of them. Noah had nightmares that night. Anyway... we chased chickens, did cartwheels and somersaults, and played on the jungle gym. It was wonderful.

Now I am trying to remind myself that spring in the mountains is cold cold cold and takes forever.

Work has been going well. I feel like I am catching up on the projects that I let hang while I was on maternity leave. I am aiming for three days a week but there will be a few full weeks with spring field work. It has been tough adjusting to being away from the kids so much. Especially Lydia. Noah loves his nanny and all the toys and kids at her house, I miss him but I think its good for him. With Lydia it is harder because she is changing so fast right now. I feel like I am missing out. She laughed for the first time while I was working and it killed me...
I just keep reminding myself to soak up the time that I do have. Tonight I rocked her to sleep watching her press her lips, snuggle into my arm, flutter her eye lids and snuggle in deeper, sigh and grunt, suck on her tongue, and finally drift off. She has such soft pink cheeks...

A Soil Conservationist position with the NRCS in South Lake closed yesterday. I applied for it even though I'm not sure if I want it. Its my dream job but I just don't think I am ready to work full time. My consolation is that I'm not very competitive as a GS-9 so I don't think I'll get a call. If I do I have no idea what I will say.

Sunshine!

2010-03-07T20:48:00.000-08:00

After more than a week of nasty weather we had a beautiful weekend and we made the most of it. I was especially motivated after feeling like a loser for not going to squaw for the $25 locals day (last Thursday). Kass wanted to go but I just felt overwhelmed by the logistics and didn't have the energy to make it happen. Wednesday night we got a good bit of fresh snow and Thursday was beautiful. I sat inside and just felt sick. I remember going through this with Noah: the realization that no matter how tough it might seem to get things together, it is so important for our sanity and health as a couple to get out and play together. Saturday we went snowshoeing (first time with Lydia), and today we spent all morning playing at the beach. Next weekend, if we can get someone to watch Lucy, we are going to go camping in Death Valley to see the wildflowers.

(these are completely un-posed, they just say down next to each other and started digging in the snow)

Kass is going to be working out of town for the first part of the week and the kids will be in daycare because I'll be working too. I keep trying to put into words how I feel about this but its not working. Lets just say I have a ton of respect and heartbreak for the parents out there doing this on their own all the time, and I am so very glad that it is only a few days for us.

Disappointed Squirrel

2010-03-03T12:24:00.000-08:00

Why is someones hard earned stash of winter goodies inside of "my" packboots? Has Noah been stealing from a squirrel? Is there an invisible squirrel in my house or is my dog just completely non-threatening? Has kass been stashing pine-nuts in his boots? Whhaaa.......??????

Lets review the facts:

-Jeffery Pine seeds found in left boot
-no nesting materials found
-boot was unused for less than a week
-Occasional pine cone brought into house by dog a potential source
-have not seen dog, eldest, youngest, or husband dismantling pine-cones lately

hummm......still not getting anything.

House

2010-02-24T22:15:00.001-08:00

Our bid was accepted by the seller and now we are just waiting for Bank approval. This could mean weeks or months of waiting and there is no guarantee that they will approve the sale price since the original loan was for more than twice what we are trying to buy the house for. This is a crazy crazy market. I am a little nervous about the idea of buying a house but excited at the same time. There are so many things that we have been wanting to do with our rental but we never felt like we had the freedom. I have been daydreaming about a grassy yard and a vegetable garden. I even priced some high elevation heirloom (save-the-seeds-and-plant-them-next-year-types) vegetable seeds including Siberian tomatoes.

Eye Candy for Grandma

2010-02-24T22:13:00.000-08:00

Easily Entertained

2010-02-17T22:26:00.000-08:00

We got Lydia a mobile for her crib. Spent hours researching and deliberating. When it got here I was so excited and I put it together right away and put her under it to watch her. She though it was alright, but I didn't amaze and astound her like I was hoping. The ceiling fan however, is a different story altogether. Lately she has also been really into her fists. She just stares at them and goes cross eyed trying to figure out how to get them into her mouth.

At her two month check up Lydia weighed over 11 pounds and was (I think) over 24 inches long. She is a 90th percentile BEAST. Noah is still hanging around in the 50's. He'd better start kissing up to her now or she's going to lay down the law when she is a little older.

We bid on a house today. This will be the third time we have tried this. I kind of feel silly because even while we were placing our bid we were talking about how real-estate prices are still projected to fall. We offered 30k less than they are asking but it's still a little nerve wracking. I don't know why I have this compulsion to buy a house. I guess its the idea of having a second bathroom, walls I can paint, and a yard I can dig up. Kass just wants the hot tub :)

Allergies

2010-02-06T13:19:00.001-08:00

Lydia has a rash that started on the back of her neck and then spread to cover her entire head and scalp, and started showing up on her chest as well. At first (when it was on her neck) I thought it was a heat rash from bundling her up too much, then when it spread to her cheeks I thought it was just infant acne. She hasn't had a fever or acted sick in any other way so I wasn't too worried about it until it just kept getting bigger and bigger. I researched baby rashes and decided it might be an allergy so I cut out dairy and soy. After two days she is looking much better. I'm hoping it was soy because I love cheese. When she is all cleared up I will try to add one back in and see what happens.

Rarrrrh

2010-02-02T21:20:00.001-08:00

Noah was sick over Halloween and didn't get to dress up but lately he has been pulling out his monster suit and asking to wear it. He usually stomps around the house for a few minutes and then asked to take it off again, but he's fun to watch.

His fun word right now is "heep" (help). Today he was playing with Lucy on the deck and his foot slipped between the deck and the mountain of snow piled next to it. I was inside but I heard: "Uh-oh...Uh-oh mommy. Heep! Heep!

In other news: Lydia slept 8 hours twice this week so far!

Working for the Weekend

2010-01-31T19:49:00.000-08:00

Today was a beautiful sunny day. Kass took care of the kids this morning and I got to sleep in until 9:30. It was amazing! We played hooky from church, bundled up the kids and put them in their packs and walked down to Jalisco's taco shop for lunch. On the way there Noah announced every car or truck and every pile of snow (ummm....yeah...the whole world is a pile of snow) or whatever entered into his field of vision. Occasionally accompanied by a color. It went something like this:
Mommy! Car! Car! Kruck! Car! 'now! Car! Neen! Daddy! Hair! Car! 'ucy! Woof! etc. etc.
Lydia went to sleep the minute she was zipped into her snow suit so I just left her in the front pack and sort of ate around her at lunch. It was easier than I thought it was going to be. When we got home the kids crashed and I even got to work out.

Tomorrow I have a big meeting with a big client on a project I sort of ended up leading because I'm the only one who knows how to run the model we are basing most of our analysis on. Just thinking about it makes my head hurt. Its times like that that make me feel WAYYYYY underpaid. It will be the first time that I leave Lydia in daycare. It was hoping to put this off until she was at least three months old. I think she will be fine but the lady that is going to watch her for me has three school aged kids and I shudder to think of the germ exposure when they come home from school. I am just going to pray and pray that my baby stays healthy. I guess it can't be any worse that what her big brother brings home from the playground.

Depending on how this meeting goes I may have to start working in February rather than March like I was promised. Arghhh! I don't know whether to stick to my guns and just tell them that they will have to wait or just take the hours. I know what I want to do, but the only other guy who really is working on this project has retired twice, just had shoulder surgery, and is taking care of his wife who just had back surgery. He doesn't even know how to use Word. How can I just leave him hanging? I can't. I'll just have to do it.

Good times

2010-01-23T20:26:00.000-08:00

We finally got some snow! The last storm we had was the day Lydia was born. That's too long for comfort in these parts. We have been slowly teaching Noah how to play in the white stuff. Today we went sledding with a friend and he did pretty good. I think he was scared and excited at the same time. He is such a cautious kid.

Lydia is growing like a weed. The wii says she weighs 11 pounds now and her legs are so chubby that she is almost grown out of size one diapers. She is still sleeping like a champ and we are going to try to move her into Noah's room after next week. I'm only getting up once to feed her at night and hopefully Noah will sleep through that. It is going to be a royal pain to re-arrange the house so we want to make sure that she is ready.

People at work are starting to hunt me down. I have been beating them off as best I can and trying to get them to wait until March when I am due to come back part time. I have to find time to work on a big document this week and I just don't know how I'm going to do it. Actually, I know that I am going to have to sacrifice my evenings, I just don't want to do it. Who wants to sit and edit technical writing during your only free time? I am probably going to have to go to Vegas in April for five days of veg surveys. Its great work but it will be really hard to be gone from my family for that long. This work and kids thing is complicated. I remember how hard it was to go back after Noah was born and I didn't even have to have him in daycare until he was eight months old or so, Lydia will be three months old. Anyway....

The snow has been great. You can see how low the lake is in the this first picture. The beach is now a big sledding hill. Its covered in tourists whooping and hollering in a million languages and having a ball. Its lots of fun just to watch! Noah walked all the way from Regan to El Dorado beach (about 4-5 blocks) and was too tired to hold his head up on the way home.

Here he is helping clear off the deck...

...and this is him tackling the snow burm in the driveway. He played out in the snow for 2.5 hours this day. I had to entice him with cookies to get him to come in and eat lunch.

Lydia has been smiling for a while now but these are the first pictures we have been able to get. I think she looks like her daddy:)

Up an' at em'

2010-01-12T20:02:00.000-08:00

There have been a million things that I wanted to post about but never got around too and now the thought of filling in that lost time makes me twitchy. Here is the quick update and where we are now.

Lydia got really REALLY sick (RSV) and had to be hospitalized over Christmas. We spent three days in the ICU and another two in a regular room. She has been completely recovered for almost two weeks now (Thank you God!)

She is the mellowest kid I have ever met or even heard of. Nothing gets her riled up except for food or a poopy diaper. We have been getting some great smiles for the past week but I haven't been able to get one on camera yet. For the past few nights she has been taking one long sleep (5-7 hours) and then the normal 2.5-3 hours things, which has made my life much easier.

Kass was able to take five weeks of paternity leave which was wonderful! He actually only worked half days last week to let me ease into the two kids thing. So far this week is going ok. I might be jinxing myself by saying this but I think I'm getting the hang of it.

Noah is 19 months old now. His favorite things are his box of plastic machines and his teddy bear. He flies the airplanes around the house and hooks up all the cars to make trains. He tries to share his cheerios and water with the bear and puts it down to take naps complete with blanket and snuggler.

Favorite foods are hotdogs and raisins.

Words are:
up, down ("nown"), hi, bye, mommy, daddy, baby, juice ("oouice"), ball, bounce, bath, more ("noore"), door, giraffe ("raff"), towel, noodles, water, moon, star, dot, purple, and a bunch of animal noises and other associated sounds that he uses to identify things.

He is usually a ton of fun and seems to like his sister. Bad days are really bad. I can't figure out a good system of discipline yet. Anything physical just gets me laughed at (and I'm not a pansy about it). So far the only thing that works is time out in the crib.

I have ten more pounds of baby weight to get rid of and I have started working out. It feels so good not to be pregnant and to be able to push myself a bit. I really want to be strong again.

Lydia June Kozloski

2009-12-12T13:51:00.000-08:00

Lydia was born (or rather "exploded" into the world) around three in the afternoon on Monday, December 7. She has a good head of hair, blue eyes, and so far is about the mellowest thing I could have imagined. She was born on a beautiful snowy day just like Kass was hoping. We sat and watched the snow swirl and blow off the trees while we were waiting to be discharged. Noah loves her. He automatically started including her in his rounds of pre-bed kisses and if he can't see her he is always asking where she is.

I was really nervous about being induced after hearing all sorts of horror stories about extreme contractions and extra stress on the baby but it all went really smoothly. I had a great nurse who called herself "the princess of pitocin" and besides being hooked up to an IV and skipping that whole first stage of labor thing, it felt pretty normal. The whole process was about 7 hours but only three of those were really hard. Kass was my moral support and I was able to deliver "naturally" (sort of, I mean besides the pitocin and other inducing stuff).

My parents came up for Thanksgiving in the hopes of being here when she was born but the ended up having to leave Saturday morning and then couldn't get back up for the birth due to a round of winter storms and -20 degree weather. They were a huge help though while they were here. They wrangled Noah and Dad helped Kass get a bunch projects done and I just sort of survived. I am actually feeling much more rested now, when I'm getting up three times a night, than I was before she was born when I wasn't getting any sleep.

Lenny and Irma were here for the last week. They snuck out this morning in front of another big storm. We had a great time with them and it was hard to see them go but we are planning on flying up to Oregon for Easter (one last chance to fly before we have to start paying for kids).

I added a link to Lydia's Flickr page. Kass will keep adding pictures.

desperation

2009-12-06T17:32:00.001-08:00

I am now 8 days late and have tried everything ever mentioned as a possible way to induce labor. Since I am scheduled to be induced in the morning I saved the castor oil as a last resort and a final act of desperation. If I don't go into labor in the next few hours at I will have made myself miserably sick for no reason.

Mean, mean baby girl

2009-11-19T07:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my birthday. The plan was to work a half day, get some lunch with Kass, then head to an hour long pre-natal massage, maybe get a haircut and then spend the rest of the afternoon curled up with a book (currently reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies). The work half of the day went as planned and we found a great little restaurant for lunch but about halfway through my "appetizer salad" which I couldn't even finish because I apparently have no stomach these days, I started getting some weird back pain. By the time we finished lunch and I dropped Kass off at work I was having some serious back pain but I figured I was going to a massage and it would get fixed. I made it about four blocks before I was into full-blown, hard-core contractions with so much back pain that I almost blacked out. I managed to pull into the seven-eleven and get the jeep into park somehow and scream my way through to a break so I could call Kass to come rescue me and call my masseuse to cancel. I had to convince Kass to take me home instead of to the hospital and after walking in the door and going to the bathroom the killer contractions of death turned into regular abdominal type contractions (thank you God!) and then just slowly tapered off. By six that evening I was back to just the occasional braxton-hicks.
I have a mean, mean baby girl who ruins my massage and then does nothing. Grrrrrrrrrrr.
I'm just about ready to wake up Noah and head to work for probably the last time since next week is a holiday week but I have to admit I'm a little app rehensive about driving around.

A beautiful boring day

2009-11-09T20:45:00.000-08:00

Today was so wonderful and normal. It was warm enough to play outside, we (me and Noah) drove around and bought food, went through the automatic car wash (which completely blew Noah's mind!), took naps, did general house stuff....really a boring day. I loved it. The best part of today was Noah's bath. The whole time he was sick he would scream through his baths. They were horrible ordeals that we all hated and rushed through as fast as we could. Today, after a little hesitation, Noah climbed into his tub and then had a ball splashing and throwing water around.

It's so nice to be normal again! It makes me realize how wonderful those little daily routines and things are. Just to be able to go buy food, to watch Noah go bug-eyed at the car wash, throwing plastic toys off the back porch and then climbing down to pick them up (over and over), no fever, no painkillers, just a normal beautiful day.

I had my 37 week check up today. Everything looks good still. Since we wont have anyone to make us a turkey this year Kass and I are hoping for a Thanksgiving baby. Since thats only a few days before my due date I think we might be able to swing it. I'm planning on spot cleaning my carpet, walking a few miles, and chugging a gallon of raspberry leaf tea on the 24th. If that doesn't do it....then I guess we'll just keep waiting :)

blurgh

2009-11-07T19:50:00.000-08:00

Today I finally feel like maybe we are all getting better and we can get back to normal life. Kass and I are still coughing but no one has had any fevers in a few days. We were hoping that this past week would be close to normal, at least for Noah and me. Kass didn't even try to go back to work which turned out to be a really good thing. Wednesday I went into work and took Noah to daycare since we had both been "normal" for a few days. Noah had been playing, eating, and sleeping like normal with no temperature for three days. I got a phone call from his Daycare at 4 saying that he had a 102 temp again and wouldn't eat or go outside. This is after a week of flu and an entire course of antibiotics for his ear infection.

I had to try really hard not to cry or run over anyone on the way to take him to the Urgent care. The doctor there was not help, he sort of looked him over and said, "huh...thats weird. He should make it until you can get him into the Pediatrician tomorrow." So, we did the motrin thing that night but the next day while we were waiting in a room full of sick kids for an hour to see the doctor, his temperature just kept climbing and climbing. By the time we saw the doctor he was 103.8 WITH MOTRIN. No other symptoms, ear infection gone, just a crazy fever that wouldn't come down. The Dr. told us to put him on tylenol and motrin every three hours to see if that would bring the temperature down and sent us in for a blood test. For the rest of the day we were talking to doctors, run back and forth to the hospital for blood tests and urinalysis stuff, checking the clock to see if we could give Noah some more drugs, and finally, at 7 that evening we got a call from the Dr saying that Noah's white blood cell count was high so he was assuming an infection somewhere and prescribed us some more antibiotics. Yuck yuck yuck. Unless the urinalysis comes back with something different, we are assuming he has tonsillitis. I know some of you have been through this before. It is absolutely heartbreaking to have to get blood and urine from a toddler.

Once we started him on the antibiotics, it only took about six hours for his fever to get manageable, and by Friday morning he was down to 101 without any drugs. That's still a fever but after all that hell, it was a beautiful thing. Today seemed so oddly normal after all that. Sort of too quiet. Its so odd that this could have started and ended so fast, but was so horrible in the middle. We cleaned the house. Kass put up the crib for the baby girl. I walked around with a Clorox wipe cleaning every surface, button, or knob anyone might have touched in the last two weeks. We went to the LIBRARY! It was so quiet and normal. I'm sort of afraid to breath or move because I don't want something else to go wrong.

I really really need this to be the end of all the sickness. I just don't think I can handle anything else right now. I really need a few weeks to breath and try to get my mind around the thought of a newborn. At this point I have been functioning in complete denial out of necessity. I just CAN NOT think about a baby right now. I can't even keep the family I have healthy.

One more thing: After two weeks of being sick, Noah now refuses to eat anything besides cheese, cookies, rasins, chocolate chips, eggs, and fruit bars. Thats it. That is a COMPLETE list.

Dr Noah

2009-11-02T19:51:00.000-08:00

For Sherry

2009-11-01T14:47:00.001-08:00

I tried to respond to your comment but there wasn't enough room.
Here you go:

My general rule of thumb has been to not vaccinate unless the bug is life threatening or debilitating. So for instance I choose to vaccinate for meningitis and whooping cough but not chicken pox, mumps, or the flu. So far I have been convinced that natural immunity is better in the long run. This week has really put that theory to the test. Everything is so much harder when it involves your kids. If I knew that getting Noah the H1N1 vaccine would have prevented this, I ... still don't know that I would have gotten it. But I would have agonized over it much longer. The complicated thing is that I keep hearing different things from different doctors. The urgent-care doctors are convinced that Noah and I had swine flu, but Noah's pediatrician is not. He says those nose-swab tests are full of errors (so he still wants us to get the shot). Other kids from Noah's day-care group were confirmed with H1N1 and were only sick for 2 days or so and not the solid WEEK like Noah. There is so much variation and no one really seems to know for sure what is going on. I can tell you this:

-Noah was miserably and painfully sick for seven entire days. Right now that appears to be a combo of flu, five teeth in a week, and an ear infection.
-Healthy-as-a-horse Kass has been running a fever for three days
-I was warned that I might "cough" myself "into labor" if I didn't get some medicine.
-Between Noah and myself I am going to end up with over a week and a half off of work.
-There seem to be at least three versions of the crud going through town right now and no-one seems to be really sure which one is which.
-Day-care is a swimming pool of germs which I neglected to consider in my risk calculations (watch Invader Zim)

I have my misgivings about flu vaccines and vaccines in general but those are my personal issues and I fully expect every parent to have to struggle through those tough decisions on their own. Every thing is so much more complicated when it involves your kids. Next year, if there is another one of these "pandemic" things, I really don't know what we will do. We'll just have to pray, research, sweat bullets, and try to make the best decision that we can for our family.

and even MORE flu

2009-10-31T09:04:00.000-07:00

Noah is doing so much better. Last night I didn't even hear him cough. Yesterday he played outside and ate something at every meal. We took him into the doctor just to get his lungs checked out and it turns out that he has an ear infection on top of the flu and teeth coming in. That kid had one rough week. I am only realizing how rough it must have been now because both me and Kass have the flu (thank you day-care!). Kass plan is to sleep it off but I fall into a couple of those "high risk" categories. I went in yesterday, once I knew I was sick sick and not just fighting a cold and got brain-probed which is apparently how they test you for pig flu. I felt like I was on x-files or something. Anyway, they wipe some of you brain on a thing that looks like a pregnancy test and "poof" - 1 pink line is good, 2 pink lines is bad. I have been prescribed so much crap in the last few days that I don't know what to take. One doctor actually told me to take robitussin with CODINE in it. I specifically pointed out the fact that I am hugely pregnant and he said "oh, yeah. Its safe" then I got to the pharmacist and she said "uhh, I don't think you should take this" so then I talked to my OB and she said a few less than complimentary things about the prescribing doctor and gave me the definite "NO." Yesterday I went in again (to a different doctor) because I was getting worse and now I am on Tamiflu and amoxicillan. When everyone was bugging me to get the flu vaccine I said no because I'm not entirely comfortable with it and said that I would just go in a get the medicine as soon as I knew I was sick. Thats what I'm doing I guess so this is all part of the plan but its really hard to feel ok with dumping all this crap into my system when I have been careful about which herbal teas I drink for the past nine months. I'm ok with the amoxicillan because I need my lungs and if this baby will just wait until her due date I can pump up on probiotics after I finish up the dose. The tamiflu scares me a bit. I just don't feel like I have a choice since I am a pregnant woman with ashthma. I guess its better for us all to go through this now before the baby is born that to put her at risk this winter.

flu

2009-10-26T12:55:00.000-07:00

Today is day three of high fevers for Noah. When I picked him up from day-care on Thursday some of the moms were talking about the flu going through at one of the local schools and it turns out that Holly (my day-care provider) 's son had it. Friday he was whiny and hard but Kass didn't notice any fever, Saturday, Sunday, and now today he has been averaging around 102 without motrin, the drugs bring it down around 100. When I went in to check on him Saturday night he was 104.3. I don't care what anyone says, the flu is scary. Even if its not life threatening or whatever... holding your moaning, shaking baby while you pray for the drugs to kick in is hell. He is still drinking water and juice like a fish and eating at least one good meal a day so at this point we are just waiting for it to pass, hoping we don't get it, and trying to keep him comfortable. His face is chapped from all the snot, his voice is scratchy from coughing, but he still giggles when lucy licks his toes and played with his trucks for a while this morning. I know I am just one of hundreds of mom's going through this right now and I guess that makes it a little easier. I keep hearing that it should be over after 4 or 5 days so I'm holding out for that. To top everything off, three of his molars which have been sort of hovering have decided to push though in the past week and today I saw that one of his canines is coming through too. Poor kid can't catch a break...

Daycare days

2009-10-21T20:30:00.001-07:00

I hate daycare. Noah really seems to like it. He is usually happy to go, knows Holly's name ("Hawyee") and though he is happy to see me when I get there he usually just wants me to get down on the floor and keep playing with him rather than leave immediately. The part I hate is once we get home. Day-care days always have, without exception, the worst evenings of the the week. Noah hasn't seen us all day and he just wants to play, preferably outside, but there are things things to be done and food to be made. I hate having to turn my back on my boy who I have spent a total of 20 minutes with during the drive to and from daycare so that I can get food together, but if I don't he falls apart because he is hungry, let alone the rest of us who are starving from not packing enough to eat for our lunches.
Today I even tried giving him a snack and flopping on the floor for half and hour before making dinner. That lasted for a while and we had a good time rolling around but then Noah decided that it would be fun to throw toys at mom and the fun ended rather abruptly. I guess its just his age, we have been having trouble on normal days with hitting and throwing things in anger, but its just so much harder to deal with after a long day of work. I miss my kid and I just want to spend time with him, not discipline him, and I really don't want to make dinner while he cries and hangs on my legs. Maybe we can just eat back beans and cheese (Noah's favorite) two nights a week and skip the whole dinner thing. I just end up feeling inadequate and emotionally drained. Of course I am swimming in hormones these days. Hopefully things will stabilize, or we'll just get through this phase a some point.
I only have one more month of day-care before baby number two arrives on the scene and then I will probably be begging for a nice quiet day at the office.
Actually, today I discovered that the HUGE document that I am co-writing isn't due at the end of November, but at the end of January and the date is dependent on client review of the draft. This just means that I will be stuck trying to get a final draft together with a newborn and an 18 month old. I was really hopping to have it done before all the craziness started.

Currently stuck in my head:

Andrew Bird rocks. Saw him play a one-man show at Wanderlust. The man is a Musician!

Cheese!!!

2009-10-13T21:17:00.000-07:00

We decided to take a piknick lunch to chase the salmon again on Sunday after church. Noah fell asleep in the three minutes it took to get from one parking lot to the other. He looked "out-out" (drool, mouth open, snores) but it had only been a few minutes so I tried talking him awake.
"Noah, we're here"
"Time to go see the fish"
(I shake his leg a little bit)
"Noah, time to eat lunch"
(I shake his leg a little harder)
None of this gets any response from him so I try the next thing that comes to mind...
"Noah, do you want some cheese?"
Eyes fly open, hands clap, and suddenly we have a very awake and very hungry boy enthusiastically signing for cheese. We laughed and laughed, ate our PBJ's and cheese sticks and chased fish again. It was a great afternoon. Me and Noah threw rocks in the water while Kass took some more fish shots. He got some great ones of the toothy males but you will have too look for them on Flickr.

It has been pouring rain all day today. The puddle along our lot has actually crossed the road so that I have a lake instead of a street between us and the Drogins/Becks. My yard, which I not-so-lovingly refer to as the "sand box" had a standing inch of water on it when it got dark. I have no idea what it looks like now. Kass and I have been wondering what the odds are of a bear raiding our trash in a downpour. Maybe we'll get lucky, or maybe we'll have to go fishing in the morning.

beautiful chubby cheeks

2009-10-08T19:47:00.001-07:00

We had out appointment with the Specialist in Reno today. I was so nervous about what they would say, worried that she hadn't been growing enough, and worried that they would want us to keep coming down to Reno or going to the doctor three times a week. When the ultrasound tech took the baby's measurements we were able to see the read-out of the growth curve and estimated due date on the side of the screen. Last time we were in, the doctor said we were measuring weeks behind and that she was about in the 12th percentile overall, this time, as the measurements came in I wanted to get up and dance. All her measurements were in the 30-50th percentile and her estimated due date based on her size came out EXACTLY right. The ultrasound tech grinned at us, pulled out the 3D wand and took a few picture of her face. I don't think I have ever seen such beautiful chubby cheeks...This is so big for me. This whole ordeal has made me so afraid that we were going to have a little emaciated baby who would be lucky to make it to, let alone through delivery... I mean, that's what the doctors have been saying. Now the doctor came in, looked through the data, and said "Wow. This is a beautiful baby, she looks perfect. I can't think of any reason to bring you down here again, all our previous concerns are gone."
I have been laughing and dancing and crying from relief all day. Thank you God for chubby cheeks.

lunch

2009-10-07T12:15:00.000-07:00

I just ate a roast beef and horseradish sandwich wrap, a bag of freetos, and a huge oatmeal crasin cookie. If this baby isn't fat it's not because I didn't try!

Fall

2009-10-06T14:25:00.000-07:00

Irma (Kass' Mom) was here visiting for a long weekend. We had a lot of fun and just about got everything ready for the baby girl. We put furniture together, re-organized Noah's room, sorted hand-me-downs, cleaned off the front porch (which has become our "garage") and took a load of stuff to good-will. All we have let to do is bring in the second crib and set it up in our room, and send a few chairs to the shed, which I think we will probably put off until the last minute.

Neither one of us is happy about sleeping with the baby in our room but we figure that since we aren't going to be getting much sleep anyway, it would be better to have three of us waking up all night for a few months than all four of us doing it. After she is sleeping in longer chunks (6hrs?) we will move her in with Noah. If any of you have suggestions about timing and how to make this happen please let us know.

We got four inches of snow this weekend. Noah didn't know what to do and refused to walk in it the first time we tried to go outside. I carried him around and showed him how it crunches and how to make snowballs and then he felt a little better about things. We are going to try really hard to keep the deck shoveled off this winter so Noah will have a place to play...but its a really big deck. We'll see.

This weekend we went to the Oktoberfest at Camp Richardson and had a snowy morning looking at the Kokanee salmon coming up Taylor creek to spawn. Noah did his first polka dance, wrestled his first pumpkin, and loved watching the fish in the creek. I always enjoy the fish but it was so neat to see how excited he got seeing them for the first time.

Somehow we managed to get a bunch of pictures of the weekend and none of them with Irma. She really was here and we even let her out of the house once in a while.

On the tire swing at the park

Rescuing the apple tree

42

2009-09-29T19:52:00.000-07:00

This is week two of the NST's and so far they all have come back normal...sort of. There is always some little hiccup that makes them run the test a little longer or whisper in the hallways but then they come in and say "well, she looks good" usually followed by "of course there is nothing to say that you couldn't come into the hospital in 48 hours because you haven't been feeling your baby and have a miscarriage." Honestly, why do doctors say things like that. I would have been happy with the fist part. It looks like there isn't a major problem at least at this point and they really don't know why she is small or if there is anything they can do about it. My body is probably just doing the same thing it did with Noah, except this time, instead of being blissfully ignorant I am running around making the doctors happy and stressing myself out. I feel like I can get my head together and be a normal person for about a day-and-a-half between appointments. I go in feeling like everything is going to be ok and walk out feeling like the sky is falling and really nothing has changed except I've been hooked up to a machine for an hour and had to talk to doctors.
Sheesh. Maybe its just the hormones...

We had an extra two weeks of summer this year. Saturday it was 80 and we went swimming at Fallen Leaf. It was so weird to be in the water with the sun going down so early. Yesterday a wind came up in the afternoon and blew away our high pressure and now we have snow forecast for tonight and a high in the 40's tomorrow.

We have been working on buying a house again but it looks like it has fallen through. It was really the only place around that was in good shape and would have been something we could afford. I think we have pretty much decided to can the house idea for a year and just keep working on our savings. We have put good bids in on two houses and they didn't work out so I feel like there might be a reason. Now we just need to hunker down and make room for the baby. I think if we organize the shed so we can cram a bit more inside and swap out some of our furniture we can make it work.

Noah has mastered quite a few animal noises but still not any real words except "hi" "mommy" and "dada." His butterfly noise is ridiculously cute (sort of a lip-smacking whisper) but I think he has gotten sick of me asking him to make animal noises over and over. Today when I asked him what a cat said he just sort of rolled his eyes and ignored me. (sigh)

"We're not concerned, but....."

2009-09-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

We went to Reno for our appointment with the specialist this Wednesday. We had another ultrasound, answered lots of questions from the Dr. and breathed a huge sigh of relief when he said, "What we have here is a baby that is small, you can tell from my voice that I'm not overly concerned..." (this is the part where I take a deep breath and relax)...
"but what I want you to do is schedule two non-stress tests each week for the next three weeks, stay off your feet as much as you can, and come back in three weeks for a growth analysis, along with your regular doctor appointments, and then we will see where we are."
It took a few minutes for my mind to get all this put together. I kept thinking...."but, you aren't concerned!" I'd hate to see what they recommend for someone they ARE worried about. I pretty much get to live at the doctors office for the rest of my pregnancy unless by some miracle they decided to leave me alone after three weeks is over.
Then there was this huge scheduling screw up where I had two different offices and the hospital calling me to get NST's scheduled and work trying to call me in the middle of that to wave my magic wand over a GPS unit while I was driving to pick up Noah from day-care before 5. When I talked to the hospital they asked me how far along I was and when I said 29 weeks it was "Ohhhh....we're going to be seeing a lot of you" and when I talked to the nurse at my OB she said all cheerfully "oh yes, Dr. Slotnick called and told me all about your tiny little baby." I wanted to punch her. I was REALLY REALLY ready for Wednesday to be over. I just wanted to hide.

Today I was better. I'm still apprehensive and feel like there is some secret problem the doctor isn't telling me about that justifies all this hooplah. I just want to start the tests and have some one tell me, "this is a normal healthy baby, there is nothing wrong, quit worrying. "

Rachel Ray Smokes Crack and Noah is a Bully

2009-09-14T20:25:00.000-07:00

I've been trying those "30 minute meal" things from her website since I was really sick of stuff in a pot or frozen pizza on the days when I work but I guess she doesn't have a toddler, or maybe if she does, she has a nanny. I have to say that the three things I've made have all been really good, but they have taken me somewhere between an hour and an hour and a half and have completely demolished my kitchen. I guess that's the price you pay for fresh pesto and other tasty nonsense done as fast as you can with a toddler playing peek-a-boo between your legs or screaming and rolling around on the floor. Someday I'm going write a cook-book of tasty things you can make in a few minutes with a toddler or two screaming and hanging on you. I have a sneaking suspicion it will be full of things like "PB&J" and "Chips and Salsa".
If any of you have ideas or recipes for quick tasty things things that you can make one handed I would love to know about them.

We had some friends over yesterday for dinner and their little girl and Noah played or sort of tolerated each other. Lisa hasn't been around any other kids before so she was a little overwhelming for Noah at times. Most of the night went well but right before they were going to leave she started running up to Noah waving her arms and yelling at him at which point he would drop his toy, tuck his chin into his chest, close his eyes and start crying. It was funny because Lisa was being so goofy but I felt so bad for Noah. After rescuing him a few times I just held him for a while and let him yell things at Lisa from my arms that I'm sure would have been embarrassing and un-flattering if any of us had a clue what he was saying. Today, I caught him running after Lucy waving his arms and screaming which had about the same effect on her as that move had on him last night. I put a stop to it since my poor dog is already on the verge of needing to be institutionalized. I guess this is a power thing. He was picked on and now knows how to pick on someone "smaller" than him. Thinking about it makes me a little intimidated by this next phase of parenting.

Specialist

2009-09-07T20:03:00.000-07:00

So.... apparently the ultrasound tech's opinion and the doctors opinion are a little different. We have been referred to a Specialist in Reno to check on the baby for potential Inter Uterine Growth Retardation (IUGR). I googled that and it was a little scary. I was supposed to have an appointment set up last week but it didn't happen so now I stuck waiting for the doctor to call and tell me when they can squeeze us in. My OB says that her head is measuring two weeks behind and he femur is over a week behind and she just wants to be careful because apparently Noah had this and they didn't know it until he was born. Of course he turned out fine and now everyone comments on how big he is. I guess I just needed something extra to stress about...

This weekend we went to see Uncle Earl and had a great visit, BBQed with the Susanville crew, went to a minor league baseball game with Miah, Callie, Josh, Alyssa, and Judah, and crashed on the beach when we got home. It was really busy but I guess it helped me keep my mind off of other things. Noah was great. I really don't know how we lucked out with such a mellow kid and I'm sure it won't last forever. He put up with LATE LATE nights and tons of driving, weird food, and strangers wanting to carry him around. Last night we were getting dinner after the game at about 9pm and even though he almost fell asleep between the park and the restaurant he perked up, colored on the kids menu, and drove his breadstick around on the table like a car. At the end of dinner I looked over and he had his head down on the table just looking at me, totally exhausted, but still in a good mood.

Thank You Childrens Cabinet!

2009-09-02T16:58:00.000-07:00

When I was frantically searching for day care last year I used a referal service out of Carson City. They really didn't have much info to help me but I filled out a survey for them and a few months later found out that we had won a gift certificate to a school supply store.
We were able to get some really tough, good quality toys for Noah. He has been having a blast today playing with his new stuff and being "godzilla" to his rug city. I don't know if I will ever get my living room back...

I had an extra ultrasound today just to check on the baby's progress since she was a bit small last time. I now feel vindicated for all those second helping and fig newtons that I have been scarfing for the past six weeks: She is looking like a fat happy baby! I would love it if she could just have a little bit of chub. Noah was so skinny and its going to be a long cold winter. I guess I'd better lay off the cookies now that she is looking normal (sigh).

Airshow!

2009-09-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

This weekend we went to the local airshow to get Noah is fix of big machines. We thought he was just about over his obsession with airplanes but this just brought it all back. I always hear about one year old's not having a long attention span but apparently that doesn't apply in situations like this. He was SO excited. At one point Kass just chased him around the tarmack for 20 minutes while he ran up to different airplanes pointing and "ohh ohh" ing. He spent a good three hours completely absorbed in airplanes. We met some friends and their little girl there and found a place in the shade of a Cessna wing to eat lunch and watch the kids play.

Inside and outside of a C17. ALMOST the biggest bird in the military. There was a C130 down the way and this plane made it look like a midget.

You can't see it but there is a Helicopter taking off.

posing with the jet

Albatross

Why yes, I have been eating dirt...

2009-08-23T20:46:00.001-07:00

Yummm...dirt. Maybe it's genetic. We went straight to the tub after this one. I love how happy his face is, like there is nothing better in the world than dumping a big handful of dirt on top of your head.

We didn't get the house. Someone out bid us but that's ok. We were praying about it and we figure that the right place will come along in the right time. As things are now, we are putting more money into savings every month than we would be building in equity anyway. I just need to figure out where I'm going to put all our "baby girl" stuff now. (I was dreaming of 4 bedrooms for a few weeks and now I have to face the cold hard truth of our two bedroom rental).

We went camping this weekend on Markleeville creek. It was a great spot with a shallow pebbly creek for Noah to splash and wade around in and the campground was small, clean, and quiet. I am WAY to pregnant to sleep on a thermarest so we bought a blow-up mattress. I probably would have slept good if I would have blown enough air in the mattress in the first place and if I hadn't woken up in the middle of the night with someone pounding on my head saying "zwat dats.... hi! Hi! HI!" I tried to get him back to sleep by himself but he was too awake and as soon as I would stop rubbing his back he would sit up and start pounding and talking again. I finally gave up and just pulled him into bed with me. He snuggled right in and crashed. I was twisted up in some crazy contorted position and got absolutely no sleep for the rest of the night but it was so nice and rare for him to want to cuddle. He hasn't fallen asleep on or with me since he was about 9 months old. As nice as it was, I think we need to break down and admit that we are officially car-campers for a few years and get a cabin tent. Something you can stand up in and can fit a pack-n-play inside. We need containment...

Waiting....

2009-08-15T20:52:00.000-07:00

We bid on a house yesterday. We were the sixth bid in three days so we aren't sure what our chances are but we are hoping. We should find out on Wednesday or so.
This is a really clean little house in a great neighborhood, comparable houses are selling for at least 30k more (hence the six bids in three days).

In other news, Noah is just like his mother because he constantly trips over his toes :) It makes me laugh all day.

close-minded

2009-08-15T20:34:00.000-07:00

I have been hearing a lot of talk about close-minded people lately and it hit me that we all tend to label anyone who doesn't share our particular opinion as "close-minded" or worse.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines being close-minded as "stubbornly unreceptive to new ideas." To me that means a person who refuses to listen to anyone who disagrees with them. I don't imagine an open-minded person to be someone who will change their ideas on a subject after being confronted with a different opinion, but rather a person who will thoughtfully consider what another person is saying and where they are coming from and will add that information to whatever pile in their brain is processing the idea in question.

You might have a great, well thought-out and researched argument for a certain idea and still be unable to convince someone who disagrees with you. This doesn't necessarily mean the other person is close-minded, maybe it just means that they have heard many great, well thought-out and researched arguments on the subject that disagreed with your position and the scales in their mind are just not tipping in your favor.

Anyway, in honor of the great health-care debate of 09, here is a song..

Time Honoured Tradition - Kaiser Chiefs

Summer!!

2009-07-27T13:47:00.000-07:00

We have had some GREAT weekends this month. We have been taking pick-nicks to the lake on Friday evenings, camping, hiking, and this weekend we went to a music festival at Squaw valley. Noah loves everything to do with being outside so he has been one happy kid. Another monumental and wonderful event was the start of "curb"-side recycling in our neighborhood. I have been collecting huge trash cans full of non-CRV recylables and waiting in line for hours to get my $1.25 for the past three years. It is an incredible pain in the arse and getting my lovely "blue bags" for they city's program was like Christmas.

Baby number 2 had been dubbed a girl by the ultrasound tech, she was right with Noah so we will take her word with this one. Kass is insisting on naming her Noel just so we can get really confused yelling out names. I'm defineitly vetoing that and pushing for Kassette. ;)
We went yardsaling this weekend and I bought some little girl shoes (on Kim's good advice) and dresses. It was very surreal. We are now trying to track down a double stroller/bike trailer, another crib, and baby girl hand-me-downs. AND trying to figure out where we are going to put another kid. So far it is looking like baby in our room until she is sleeping 5-6 hours straight, then we will have to say goodbye to Kelly's sweet green couch and move the futon out into the living room and put the two kids in Noah's room. I think we can do it, it will just be a lot of heavy lifting and tight doorways.

I have had the "house" bug really bad lately. I don't know if this is some sort of nesting thing or what but I am completely obsessed with finding us a house. The problem is that the only Tahoe houses in our price range are EXTREME fixer's ($30-60k to make them livable) and that just seems crazy. I think I am actually getting over my insanity for the moment with the realization that maybe in 6 months or so, if prices keep coming down, we might be able to get a REAL house and until then our only real option is to move down to the valley. I can be patient. Maybe now isn't the best time anyway.

So here is the fun part:

These are pictures from out camping trip to Ebetts pass. On a day hike Kass carried Noah, the pack, the water, and the food (about 35 lbs) and I carried the camer (about 5 lbs).

this is right before he jumped in head first.

Picknick at Fallen Leaf

Black beans and peek-a-boo. I think he is really starting to look like Kass in the picture (minus the beans of course)

Wanderlust! Eight hours of sunshine and music.

Happy baby at the beginning of the day

This is the view from our final seats. We had to keep moving because the music kept getting louder and Louder and LOUDER.

Tired baby starting his first and only meltdown about 20 minutes before the end, 30 minutes past his bedtime. I can't believe how patient and good he was!

Crash Landing

2009-07-16T20:59:00.001-07:00

20090710-_MG_9080
Originally uploaded by Kass & Rachel

Noah managed his first successful dive off the deck.

KSA's

2009-07-16T20:45:00.000-07:00

Kass applied for a govy job this week and just for fun I thought I would put up some of the questions the computer uses to rate your "Knowledge Skills and Abilities" if you can't figure out what they are talking about and pick the wrong answer your application will be sent to the bottom of the pile, regardless of your qualifications. Fun fun fun! This makes applying for a computer ranked job like buying a lottery ticket.

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The following statements are designed to measure your experience and training in relation to the requirements of the job. Typically this experience is in or related to the job to be filled.

For each statement, indicate which description best reflects your HIGHEST level of experience. At the end of this application, you will be asked to certify that your responses are truthful, and the accuracy of your responses will be verified. Please be honest.

- Expressed thoughts, ideas, or opinions in a logical sequence, such as serving in a liaison role in which contact was made with a variety of individuals for the purpose of conveying information, or referring visitors and callers to appropriate staff members.

- Served as a point of contact for personnel from other organizations on procedural matters. Provided instruction on routine and established matters.

- Participated in oral discussions to obtain or clarify information of a factual nature with contacts from varying sources both within and outside the organizational unit.

- Experience, education, or training less than the levels described above.

- None of the above.

Basically this one is asking "can you talk?" This next one is my favorite, try to figure out which one of these represents the highest level of experience.

- Wrote technical reports of standard technical information and extracted data on status of a simple system or system component.

- Prepared reports of basic technical information.

- Developed technical reports that identified standard categories of technical information and extracted program data to report on conventional indicators.

So the question here is what is the difference between "standard" and "basic?"

rough morning

2009-06-18T09:24:00.001-07:00

the dryer is STILL broke after ripping out the heating element (with Noah's "help") and driving it to Reno to get checked. (nothing wrong with it). Now I am down to chasing wires until I figure out what the hell is wrong. I am a REALLY BAD electrician.
Tried to tackle the pile of laundry and dumped an entire bucket of oxygen cleaner in the load while it was filling. Jumped up to turn off the washer and speared my head on the corner of an open cabinet door.
THe dryer repair guy says it will 74 dollars just to SHOW UP at my house which is more than I have made all week.
There is a huge pile of dishes in the kitchen because I had to go to Carson and Reno yesterday and had to work through Noah's naps the day before.
I need a break, or a maid, or some help, or something...

walking! and other news

2009-05-31T17:49:00.001-07:00

Noah is off and (almost) running! It took about two days for him to figure out that the "game" that we play where he walks between mom and dad actually has a practicle purpose. We went from applauding every time he took two steps together (two days ago) to saying "oh, hi Noah" when he walks into the kitchen. He will pretty much go non-stop walking from one end of the house to the other over and over again all day. He is not quite as solid outside as he is inside but I am getting really excited about being able to watch him explore the yard on his own.

We have been getting thundershower just about every day for the past week and this weekend was pretty much the same. It is so nice to get some rain but we don't seem to be motivated to get out and do things when the weather is marginal. We tried to go for a few hikes this weekend but couldn't time the rain around the naps. I guess we should have just brought rain gear but...like I said...no motivation. We made chocolate chocolate chip cookies, fixed Noah's favorite pop-up book, worked a little in the yard, and Kass spent hours researching how to hack our Wii so that he can run illeagal software on it to play old nintendo games. While he was doing this I gently reminded him about the time he, inspired by the greatness of time-laps photography, decided to hook his digital SLR camera up to a graphing calculator loaded with some formula for taking a picture every x seconds. That experiment resulted in a dead camera and hours of anguish while I fumed and, inspired by the thought of over half a paycheck up in smoke, said things like "what were you thinking??" until he found out how to do a manual reboot and the camera (thank you God) came back to life. I'm sure that that memorable past experiment was what motivated the hours of research prior to this one and it paid off. Everything went smoothly and we can now play bubble bobble and tetris on the Wii and can get rid of the pile of old NES games under the computer.

I am pregnant again. We are expecting "thing two" around Thanksgiving which puts me somewhere around 14 weeks. We were originally planning on starting to THINK about another kid when Noah turned 1 but our plans never really seem to work that well. I am a miserable pregnant woman but I am really excited about Noah having a little brother or sister....and just us having another goofy kid around. We aren't sure what we are going to do with two kids in this house but we will work something out when the time comes. It 's really crazy to think about how much our lives have changed in the past year. I'm sure all you folks with kids are laughing but it really blows my mind sometimes.

I'll post some pictures soon. Don't really feel like it right now.

A strange thing happend....

2009-05-17T15:50:00.000-07:00

see more pwn and owned pictures
Today, while we were sitting around waiting to head off to church we started surfing some of our favorite funny internet sites which usually contain pets doing weird things with goof captions and occasionally have funniest home video type movies to watch. Noah was really really tired (we keep him up longer than usual on Sunday mornings so he will sleep during church) but was having fun watching the videos and looking at the pictures. We came across a couple of videos of people doing stupid things that usually involved some sort of crash and they really bothered Noah. He was happy watching goofy videos of cats and stuff but then we watched a video of a fireman who was doing some sort of demonstration accidentally light himself on fire (it was FUNNY, and they got him put out quick) and Noah started SCREAMING. I was really surprised that he was aware that the things we were watching were people and that he recognized that a person on fire was not a good thing. I felt awful for scaring him and sort of amazed at how fast his mind is growing. After he was calmed down we tried to watch a few more videos. He was fine with bike jumps going south and front flips turning into face-plants but for some reason, when one of three kids jumping over a little creek missed his jump and fell in it set him off again. It really made me think about protecting his little mind. He is old enough to recognize danger but not able to understand the difference in the severity of a situation where someone gets wet and someone who lights themselves on fire. It was so huge for me to see him as person with real rational thoughts and ideas instead of a "baby" (cute, little, helpless, whatever).

Skydiving and Hippies

2009-05-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we went down to Davis with some friends to camp and go the the "Whole Earth" festival. It was our first time camping with Noah since last fall and we were a little worried about how he would do in the tent now that he is mobile. Our little backpacking tent is no where near big enough to fit a pack-and-play inside. I was pretty much figuring on a sleepless weekend but it turned out really great. Once he got used to the tent again Noah took great naps and slept all night without crawling all over the tent and trying to escape through the mesh walls. We were camping at a little county airport since out friends are skydivers and he even slept through a big twin engine plane starting up fifty feet from our tent, rowdy bonfires, and a little tire roasting. I was thoroughly impressed and now I'm excited about camping a bunch more this summer.

Noah absolutely loved watching the skydivers land. Whenever the parachutes started opening up he would point and say "oooh oooh" and we would have to go over to the landing field to watch them all come down. There were a few big groups that jumped together so sometime we got to watch twenty or more people float and spin and do crazy stuff on their way down. Our friends have a little girl about Noah's age (Eva) and it was fun to watch them together. They would chase eachother around on the grass and pass bark and rocks back and forth. Noah seems to be WAY into Eva and even tried to share his bottle with her but she gave him the cold shoulder ;)

Davis was HOT but after such a slow spring in Tahoe I was ready for the heat. I felt like I could have just flopped in the sun all day long and soaked in it. The festival was really packed with people but there was some good music ( and some bad) lots of great art booths, good (but spendy) food, and the best people watching I have had in a long time. We also went to the farmers market and got some cherries and fresh lemonade. It was nice to be in a town with a real center and sidewalks but I was a little overwhelmed by the people. I am definitely a small town girl and it felt good to be back in Tahoe and to be the only one walking down the street.

All those little back dots are people

Eva and Noah exploring

Lunch Time

Spencer Landing

Amy

'Hi!"

2009-04-23T15:32:00.000-07:00

HI! is Noah's first real word. He picked an easy one. None of that momma, dada, puppy, nonsense for him. Actually it's more like "eye!" But we know what he means. Today he was playing peek-a-boo around the legs of the kitchen table and yelling out "eye!" whenever he made eye contact. After a couple of rough weeks things are back to normal. Kass was in San Diego working on a project with the BLM for a week, then when he got back we all got three types of crud (this involved some really nasty stuff and one really bad trip to the grocery store where we realized at a CRUCIAL moment that we had forgotten the diaper bag) and Noah got two teeth on top of that. That incredible amount of suckiness lasted another week. Noah has been over most of it for almost a week now and it is SOOOOO nice to have a happy kid again.

A few days ago we were eating dinner and about halfway through Noah threw a screaming fit and refused to eat ANY MORE pureed baby food. He was in a pathetic meltdown on the floor when I thought "hey, maybe he want's what we're eating." So...I chopped up some of our chicken and gave him a scoop of rice and viola...happy baby. Since then we have just been giving him a chopped up version of whatever we are eating and so far he has loved it all (tamales, lasagna, chicken, cous cous, and even a pickle!) I think he was just incredibly bored and fed up with the mushy stuff. He really won't eat anything now unless he can feed it to himself (barring cereale which he still loves).

We did have some good times over the past few weeks. Both sets of folks came up to visit for a few days each. Here are some pictures from Lenny and Irma (Kass's parents) visit.

I have now been on a THREE week hiatus from the news and so far I don't think I have missed anything important. Kass hasn't come home with anything earth shattering that I should have known about and I haven't had any late night meltdowns over our depraved society. I think I like it. It's pretty much inpossible to hide from ALL the news so I get enough to know that the world is still turning just be alive and litterate.

going into hiding

2009-04-06T19:54:00.001-07:00

Last week I was really tore up by all the terrible headlines. So many horrible and violent murders and on the days no one was going psycho there would be a report of some company laying off thousands of people. I cried myself to sleep several nights. It's tough not to get depressed by all the evil and pain that is out there. I had to remind myself over and over that there is good out in the world also and that the good stuff just doesn't make the news.
This week, I am taking a break from the news. I am not going to read any headlines or listen to NPR (I'm pretty much a junkie for Morning Edition). I don't want to be one of those people who is completely oblivious to what is going on around them, but I just really need a break. Maybe all this information saturation isn't a good thing. Maybe there is enough trouble around me without borrowing from New York, Alabama, and Italy.
I don't know. How much knowledge is too much and how far do you have to go before you are just shoving your head in the sand?

"Ignorance of certain subjects is a great part of wisdom" - Hugo de Groot

more random pictures

2009-03-28T19:53:00.000-07:00

At Nicks house in Longbeach. Noah loved the french doors.

Playing with the sand on our beach. It was 60 degrees!

Splashing in the ocean at Corenado beach (San Diego).

Eating "o's" with Aunt Annette.

Beans Wedding

2009-03-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

These pictures make me feel narcissistic but we only took a few and they are just happened to be posed pictures with me, Noah, and whoever else happened to be around. I thought about clipping myself out of the pictures but that seemed a bit much. Just please believe me that I would much rather have pictures without me in them.

here we are all ready to head out

Linda :)

Beth!

Kass is cool

2009-03-16T21:43:00.000-07:00

He put a photo in the local newspapers photo contest and is now in the top ten (out of 800 some). You can go to the Tahoe Tribune and pick your favorite picture to vote in the contest. I can't tell you which one is his because that's cheating :)

Noah is...

2009-03-16T21:36:00.001-07:00

9 Months old
19 lbs, 28.5 inches

Determined to get the powerstrip in the back bedroom when I'm not looking.

Competitive, and furious that the other baby at daycare can crawl faster than him.

Obsessed with any kind of obstacle course and will crawl over, around, or through anything that sits still for him.

Crazy about turning pages and opening and closing doors, gates, and cupboards.

Current Favorite Foods: Cheerios, veggie goulash, acorn squash and apples, avocado, any kind of fruit.

Right now (this week) there isn't much that he won't eat but I'm sure that will change soon.

Favorite Pastimes: "walking", chasing Lucy around and playing fetch, and sneaking into the kitchen to play in Lucy's water dish.

Hates: to stop "walking", face washing, diaper changes,

the first of many

2009-03-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

Noah got his first bad haircut today. I actually did it while he was taking a bath since he was sitting so still and his mullet was so bad. I think it just about gave Kass heart failure to see me scissoring Noah's hair in the bathtub but I honestly couldn't think of any other place that would be better. If Kass had tried to hold him on his lap he would just have squirmed and screamed until I gave up and left him with something really "modern."

Today was another beautiful sunny day. I took Noah and Lucy for a long walk in the afternoon (no snowsuit required!!!) and the let Noah walk around the driveway (its the only place where the snow is melted) and kick pine cones when we got back. I think I am going to try to shovel off the back deck tomorrow and see if I can get at least part of it dry enough to play on. Not that old rotten splintery redwood is any better than snow....

Thursday was $25 ski day for locals at Squaw Valley. We were able to leave Noah with the woman who watches him on Tuesdays and Wednesdays so we could ski together all day. There were hardly any people there and no lines at all on any of the lifts. We met a friend and had a great day playing around on the mountain. It was really nice to goof off together and feel like kids instead of parents. I have to say though....that mountain is really REALLY steep. From skiing the other mountains around here I was staring to think "I might not be fast but I can handle anything on the mountain"..... Ladies and gentleman, I'm here to tell you that is just not true. I most certainly CANNOT handle anything on the mountain. I am most certainly a weenie who is still stuck at the top of the run trying to get up the guts to jump in while everyone else is already waiting at the lift. I did so many cartwheels and face plants..... :) It was good stuff.

Happiness

2009-03-09T19:06:00.000-07:00

I have to confess that it gives me great pleasure to watch tourists doing stupid things. This weekend was a busy one so I got to see plenty of "flat lander" logic in action. I got home late from work on Friday and driving through our neighborhood I saw several weekend groups parked on the road while they dug through the five foot snowplow berm of crusty, iced up "sierra cement" and the two feet of snow in their driveways. It seems to me that if you are going to rent a cabin for $800 a night it might be worth while to pay the snow removal guys $50 to do the driveway before you get there.... or maybe it just all part of the fun, who knows. The other highlight of my tourist watching this weekend was a fancy Toyota land rover type thing (HJ???) stuck in a gas station parking lot because it couldn't get over the SPEED BUMP! Apparently people just like to pay $30k for any "sport utility vehicle" and don't really care about its actual ability to preform "sport" or "utility" functions. (ahhh...good times, I could have sat there and watched for hours....) Anyway....now that I have revealed my black, cold, merciless heart...

After our lovely and much prayed for storm last week we had plenty of white stuff to play in this weekend. On Saturday we packed Noah up and snowshoed up to the top of a 200ft rock overlooking the lake on a perfect cloudless day. Kass took some awesome pictures but I had a minor freak out because Noah was drowning in snot and his eyes were watering like crazy. I packed him up and hoofed it down the rock determined to get my poor child back to the car where he could....umm.... recline in comfort in his car seat??? Of course I realized about 100ft from the car (when Noah was happy and cooing, not drowning in tears and snot) that I had stopped and rubbed sun screen on his face just before we got to the top. I'm sure I just rubbed some in his eyes on accident. You know, when I watch other moms its easy to say "she's just being neurotic, that kid is fine" but I tend to loose some perspective when its my kid. Hopefully that will come with time and I won't make my husband crazy.

Kass really did take some awesome pictures. He went out on Sunday night and got some good ones of the beach with the snow and the stars too. I will see if I can get him to post some on flickr.

Noah has been completely on formula for a few weeks now and I think I am past the crazy hormone swings and finally feeling normal. I was just rolling it it today. I thought to myself, "I think I'll just eat that jalapeno" and "why yes, I'll have another beer" and "screw epson salts, I'm getting Tinaktin" (thank you South Lake Tahoe community pool). Maybe I'll even dye my hair purple or get a tattoo (yeah, you just THINK I'm joking).

One last order of business. Noah can now "fetch". He loves watching me throw stuff for Lucy so when she drops a toy he grabs it and hands it to me. Its pretty funny watching him try to crawl with a squeaky toy in his hand.

things that happened today

2009-02-21T19:56:00.000-08:00

1. Today we were snowshoeing and Kass was carrying Noah in the back pack. I looked over and Noah, all bundled up in his snowsuit so that only part of his face was sticking out, was leaning as far forward as he could in the pack and had is tongue sticking out as far as it would to trying to LICK Kass' coat hood which had flopped back into baby range.

2. Noah likes to "share" his toys. He chews on them and then he holds them out for you to "chew" on before popping them back into his mouth. Today I was playing with Noah and I was holding his teddy bear in front of me. Noah was chewing on a block (as usual) and he looked and me and the bear and then held his block out for the bear to "chew" on then after a few seconds held the block out for me, and then popped it back into his mouth. I was startled at first and thought maybe he was just missing my face by a foot or so but he did it several more time, Noah-bear-mom-Noah-bear-mom-Noah. Its crazy that he recognizes the bears' face and knows where its mouth is and its also crazy that he recognizes the bear as a person and wants to share with it.

3. Noah didn't make it to bed this evening and crashed out in my arms instead. I just sat there for a while holding him and enjoying his still, warm, heavy little body in my lap. While I was looking at him I started thinking about him as an adult. What will he want to be? Will he find a good woman? How many times will he get his heart broken? A million thoughts like this and a few that were a little morbid ran through my head in the few minutes that I sat there. Becoming a parent is a process, just like learning to love. The more experience you have the more you learn and the more powerful it becomes. I know that at this moment I know very little about being a parent but just the difference between what I know and feel now and what I thought I knew before my son was born is staggering. Its crazy, its huge, its terrifying, and it makes me what to go hug my parents and tell them that I love them. This little boy is going to break my heart.

Find Love - Clem Snide

Fun in the flakey white stuff

2009-02-17T21:07:00.001-08:00

Mom and Dad have come up to visit/babysit twice in the last three weeks so we were able to do some guilt-free playing (glory hallelujah!!!)

The first time we went up to echo lakes. It was a beautiful sunny day and the snow was absolutely amazing.

Here is dad getting some use out of his skinny skis

The second time we made use of some really cheap lift tickets at Kirkwood. Half the mountain was shut down due to wind and it was really freaking cold but we still had a good day. The snow was great and visibility was good enough to avoid the trees.
Here is a very very cold Kass, me and Marin poaching a table to warm up and eat our PBJ's at one of the overpriced food venues (we got kicked out after a few minutes)

and here is what it was doing outside.

Kass just about lost a finger because he couldn't find his glove inserts and just used some cheap knit k-mart gloves as liners. He was howling for a few minutes once we got back to the jeep and it started warming up. That's the thing with winter gear. You can't really afford to half-ass it.

And... just for fun, here is Noah with a carrot juice moustache.

Noah's new trick

2009-02-17T14:53:00.000-08:00

My baby is ridiculous :) one of his fun new tricks is snorting through his nose. To get a really good snort he pumps his arms. You have to watch this all the way through the end to see the good stuff, Kass didn't edit it so if you are in a hurry you can skip the first minute or so.

Noah's Noises

2009-02-14T20:40:00.000-08:00

Noah has started babbling now. I love to hear his voice. Everything before this has just been growls, grunts, screams, laughing, giggles, snorts, sputters, clicks, and heavy breathing but now he is actually making syllables in a conversational tone. I can get him to mimic me and say "dada" but he doesn't seem to know what I mean. Which is funny because if I say Daddy he immediately looks for Kass but he hasn't figured out that his words mean anything to us.
We have been getting a few inches of snow every night for the past week. It hasn't added up to a whole lot but its enough to play in. I have been getting good use out of the snow suit that my parents got Noah for Christmas. I can pay up my baby and walk the dog in 20 degree weather and still have a toasty warm boy when I get home. The logistics of packing a baby into a down snow suit and then into a backpack carrier are a little complicated but I am getting better at it. The other day though just after I had packed Noah into the pack and got it hoisted onto my back I caught the familiar aroma of a nasty diaper. I though "screw it, we're going" so I headed out the door anyway. We made it a few blocks but then Noah started making sad little baby noises and I gave up. I wish there was some way I could communicate "poop now or sit in it for an hour" before I get him ready to go.

Bad home videos

2009-02-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

Noah walking around holding onto my hands

Check out his sweet toe-arm-head style

Thursdays are my favorite

2009-02-05T12:08:00.000-08:00

This morning I got to swim, Noah slept like a champ last night and then ate breakfast without taking issue with anything, we took a walk with Lucy before the weather got crappy, Noah took a long nap this morning so I got some work done, I got to see some friends, and we are having tasty soup for dinner.
Noah seems to really like the lady who takes care of him two days a week. He gives her a huge smile when he sees her and yesterday when I came to take him home he was happy to see me but after a quick hug he wanted to be down on the floor with the other babies again. He is almost crawling now. He gets up on his hands and knees and rocks back and forth but he also does this weird thing where he pushes with his toes and skids across the floor on his forehead. I think yesterday he actually gave himself a little rug-rash on his face. I hope he figures out the hands and knees thing soon, it seems like it will be less painful.

More Day-Care

2009-02-03T20:23:00.000-08:00

I don't have time to write much right now but I just wanted to put something up to let you all know that I did find a good day-care situation for Noah. After I had just about given up one of that ladies that I was bugging to find room in her program for Noah put me in touch with a friend of her's. Bonnie only takes infants and only watches two at a time from her house which is only about 10 minutes from ours. I called her references and they raved about how great she is, Noah likes her, I like her, and she costs the same per day as one of the big day-care centers. Today I dropped Noah off for his first day and although I hated leaving him I didn't worry all day about whether or not he was safe or if he was left in some corner somewhere.
Thanks God!

Daycare

2009-01-26T17:33:00.000-08:00

I have now interviewed with 9 different day care providers. I feel like I have a good idea of what is out there but the frustrating thing is that the places that I actually like are either too far away or full. I have been in places that felt too dirty and some that smelled really strongly of cleaning chemicals and I'm not sure which bothers me more. Today I met a woman who was so large that I doubted whether she was actually able to take care of the kids in her home. One lady (the one with the supper clean house) had four violations from the state inspector in a single month and she still charged more than any of the others. After all of my research and interviews we decided on a lady only to have her call an hour later and tell us that she decided she wanted a full time kid and wouldn't be able to offer the part time slot for Noah any more. Now I'm not sure what we are going to do. I guess tomorrow I will just keep looking.

big sister

2009-01-22T19:01:00.000-08:00

Today I was washing dishes and noticed that both Noah and Lucy were out of sight and being pretty quiet. I walked around the corner and Lucy and Noah were laying nose to nose with lucy's squeaky-toy-of-ultimate-happiness in between them. Lucy would whine softly and then bump the toy towards Noah. Lucy saw me and knew she had been caught. She just can't wait for Noah to get big enough to play with her. I was worried that she wouldn't be a good kids dog because she is so nutty but she has been awesome with Noah so far. The other day I heard her crying and I ran to help untangle Noah from here ears. She just stood there and took it until I came to rescue her.

I have officially started Noah on formula. My plan right now is to switch one feeding to formula every week until I either dry up or get down to only breastfeeding one or two feedings a day. We will see how that goes. I spent today talking to daycare places again. I can't keep up with my work with just 20hrs a week anymore. I'm not happy about it but I don't have much choice. I don't need more than 20hrs but work needs me more than 20hrs (sigh). I get so frustrated and stressed out just thinking about it. I'm pretty lucky though because I have gotten a lot of good references for good in-home day care providers from friends who have been through this before me.

Noah started rolling over in his sleep and waking up screaming on his stomach. He did it three times today. I would go in, roll him onto his back, calm him down and even rock him to sleep and after about 20 minutes he would do it again. I have a friend with a baby who normally sleeps on his stomach and he is going through the same thing. I'm just hoping we can work this out during nap time and still get some sleep at night. Any ideas would be appreciated.

It rained all day today so we had Irish Potato Chowder and Guiness for dinner. It was very tasty but we only had one beer left and after a day like today it just wasn't enough for the two of us.

Noah has been working on crawling but he's not quite there yet. Here is attempt# 264.

hypocrite

2009-01-06T20:28:00.000-08:00

Over Christmas and New-Year I ran around like a crazy person to find unbleached disposable diapers for Noah and today I started my first day of a swimming class as the community pool. How is soaking myself in chlorine any better than wrapping him in it? I guess I'm rationalizing it by thinking about how good it will be for me structurally and glossing over the chemical stuff for the moment.
So this class is called "Masters Swimming" which I took to mean "swimming for old people but with a nice name". I figured it would be pretty low key. When I showed up today I was with a bunch of serious swimmers. The kind that have just about grown gills and who's bodies don't even think of growing hair. In the locker room they were all putting on serious suits and hat things while I pulled out my ten year old hand-me-down pink flowered granny suit (thanks Kelly :), when we actually got to the pool the instructor said (and this is a direct quote) "start off with a 500 or 600 meter warm up and then I'll give you a work out." I didn't think much about it at that point and just started to swim laps. After I was breathing hard and felt significantly "warmed up" (about 4 laps) I asked the girl in my lane how long the pool was and found out that one lap was only 50 meters. I don't even know how far I got before the "work out" started ("four 100's with about thirty second to rest in between each" followed by "three 200's with about thirty seconds to rest" followed by 8 50's). I think I got the 100's done but the rest was just pain and sputtering until the next phase of the work out. I have never been more happy to have a lifeguard watching. Currently I feel like someone beat my upper body with a pipe but I am really sort of proud that I survived. I am excited about how strong I will be by the end of the semester if I can survive this and if they don't figure out that the girl in the pink suit and shorts doesn't qualify as a "master" and kick me out. Ok, at this precise moment I kind hope they do but I am hoping that I will feel tougher by Thursday morning.

Noah got his second tooth yesterday (both are on the bottom) and today he was the happiest boy when I gave him hard cookies to gnaw on. He has really gotten good a squirming around lately and spent about 45 minutes today just happily rolling and thrashing toward his toys. He can almost do a low-crawl and can definelty get forward motion, just very slowly. I think we are going to work on baby proofing the house this weekend in preparation for the oncomming assault

Rookie Mistake

2008-12-29T09:32:00.000-08:00

Ok, this one is painful... in a lot of ways.

While we have been staying at Kass' folks house we have been giving Noah baths in the kitchen sink. They have a wide, shallow sink so its just about perfect and you don't have to bend over. Noah loves it! The first time I took him out of the bath he cried until he went to bed because he was having so much fun splashing around. Anyway, last night while we were giving him a bath he reached down and found the sink drain (he was pretty much sitting on it) and pulled out the plug. I put the plug back in but I couldn't quite get it to seal. I spent a few second trying different angles and pushing on it to get it back in when Irma (Kass' mom) walked in and said "Why is he shaking like that?" Noah had his mouth and eyes wide open and his little arms were straight out from his sides quivering. I looked down at the drain pug and realized that... (oh this is hard to write)... that the reason the drain wouldn't plug right was because I was smashing part of his scrotum between the sink drain and the stopper. I jumped and pulled the stopper and as soon as I took the pressure off he started crying and crying. Oh my poor little boy. Maybe I'll just have his dad give him baths from now on since he is more aware of the dangers associated with external plumbing. Noah was ok after a few minutes of snuggling and the redness and swelling were gone this morning. *sigh* There I was in the kitchen, holding my dripping wet naked crying boy, I was crying, Irma was laughing, and all the guys were just shaking their heads at me. Kass said "its ok, it was a rookie mistake." When I think about it I start laughing and crying at the same time. sheesh.

fa la la

2008-12-23T16:30:00.001-08:00

Kass and I chickened out of driving up to to Oregon because of the huge snow storms that have been pounding the northwest for that past week or so. We were able to get some cheap plane tickets so we only had to drive three hours in the snow instead of 12+ if we had decided to drive. We are spending Christmas up at Kass' folks place in Seaside. So far, aside from worrying about people traveling on the ice, it has been wonderful and very very mellow. We have made some cookies, visited, and played mario-kart. There was four inches of snow on the beach the day we got here but now its all melted now. Tonight Kass' brother will drive down from Seattle and he might have a tough time getting out to the freeway with all the snow they have had.
Noah got his first tooth yesterday. He hasn't been fussy or anything, he just grabbed my finger to chew on it and I felt his sharp little tooth. He has been eating pretty good every night. I got some mixed veggies and he liked those along with the carrots and pears which are staples these days. It seems to help with the sleeping thing because he is back to sleeping 7-8 hours at a time when I put him down for the evening. Noah has been the happiest, most mellow little guy ever since we got here. He loves hanging out with his grandparents and just sitting in the middle of the floor playing with toys. He also pulled himself up to standing the other day. I know it won't be long before he is running all over the place now. Kass and I were sort of encouraging him to crawl and walk but then we realized that as soon as he is mobile our lives are going to get more complicated so we stopped helping him. We figure he will get it when he gets it and that will be soon enough.
Its so nice to forget about work for a few days and just enjoy family. I hope you all are doing the same.
Merry Christmas!

butt wraps

2008-12-12T15:31:00.000-08:00

The other day Kelly and I were bemoaning the typical American habit of wrapping our infants genitals in petroleum based plastics. (In case you aren't used to hearing me vent on this I'm talking about the endocrine system disruptors in ALL PETROLEUM PRODUCTS this includes make-up, Vaseline, and the plastic that come in direct contact with your babies goods). When you walk down the baby isle at your local whatever it can make you feel really helpless and frustrated. I did a little research and I found some good stuff. At diapers.com you can buy either the Nature Baby Care or Seventh Generation diapers for about the same price as pampers or huggies along with other household products guaranteed not to make you or your family sick ( I personally am a HUGE fan of 7th gen stuff, you can also check them out on Yee Olde Better World Shopper over on the left). If your order a few packs of diapers you can even get free shipping. The only inconvenience here is thinking ahead. Ok, so no more excuses. I am going to order some right now for when we are traveling over the holidays and can't throw poopy diapers in the in-laws washer.

Even Sweeter! Use referral code "buttWraps" at checkout to save you $10 and to give me $1 credit :)

down time

2008-12-12T11:49:00.000-08:00

Work has been really slow lately. Even though I have about 400hrs of work waiting for contract approval (which will probably happen around the 2nd week of January) I have lots of down time right now. Its been wonderful. Lots of people asked me "are you enjoying your baby?" during the first few months after Noah was born. My automatic response was "are you nuts?" Sleep deprivation, bleeding nipples, new parent freakouts, daily scream-fests, and physical trauma recovery are not on my list of "enjoyable" things. I loved my baby, but I did not enjoy him. Now life is different. He is so much fun and its so amazing to just watch him learn. We understand each other better and we are both more comfortable with the world. Yesterday when I was sitting on the couch playing with Noah on a beautiful sunny day I realized what a rare and incredible opportunity this is. No distractions, just me and my Son. If we ever have another baby I will have to wrangle Noah at the same time and there won't as much time to be just one on one.

It is supposed to get REALLY REALLY cold this weekend so yesterday I took the opportunity to take Noah and Lucy down to Nevada beach. There is a mile long trail that goes through some beautiful sunny meadows on the way down to the beach. Our neighborhood is very shady and our meadow is not exactly stroller (or dog) friendly so it was good to get out somewhere different. It was 50 degrees and absolutely beautiful. when we got down to the beach we had it almost all to ourselves. I threw the ball for Lucy for a while until Noah started getting antsy in his stroller so I took him out and let him stand on the edge of the lake. He stood so still and just watched the water lap at this feet. We must had sat there for at least ten minutes. Just the three of us on a beautiful, quiet, sunny day.

Here come the gratuitous baby pictures...

Think that sweater is cute? You should have seen him with the ear-flap beannie! ;)

Sweet Carroty Goodness

2008-12-09T10:02:00.001-08:00

So last night I got out my special organic peas to blend up for Noah.....and failed miserably. I tried and tried to get them blended up and when that didn't work I tried mashing them with a fork and then when that didn't work I put them in the food processor and tried that. The best I came up with was chunky mush. When I tried to feed it to Noah he made his "I hate this" face and then started choking on it. Added on top of that the dinner I made for me and Kass was only marginally edible and even though my husband dutifully ate it I was imagining his "I hate this" face too. When I tried to give Noah another bite of the peas I had spent 30 minutes trying to make for him he actually started crying. This was horrible since every time I offer him something new he dutifully opens his little mouth and looks at me like "I don't think I'm going to like this but I'm hopeful". He had gone from that to crying and I felt miserable. I was promising him things like "ok, you don't have to eat food, you can just have grapes and milk forever" when I remembered that I had a little jar of carrots in the cupboard. I gave him a bite and he stopped to think about it and then started crying again. It took me a while to realize that he was crying FOR the carrots not because of them . When I offered him some more he lunged at the spoon. He ate everything I had dished out and then a bit more. Kass says, "thats no son of mine."

huhh

2008-12-08T16:11:00.001-08:00

Its currently 35 degrees outside and my neighbor just walked by with a huge blue and green parrot on his shoulder.

dry dry dry

2008-12-06T19:59:00.000-08:00

We decided not to get a Christmas tree this year since the only place we could put it (will all the baby stuff and computer in the living room) would be directly in front of the furnace. We wanted to get out this afternoon so we decided to go for a walk and collect some fir boughs to make a wreath or something (I have never done this before so it will be interesting) to substitute for the tree. As we were driving out to "the spot" Kass mentioned how weird it is that there is no snow on the ground. I hadn't thought about it until today but we have always had snow on the ground up here when we go cut our Christmas tree, sometime just a few inches but last year we had so much snow that we just walked over the fences instead of looking for gates. We haven't had ANY this year. Just a few little dustings that melted within a few hours. Everyday is cold but sunny and dry dry dry. The whole economy up here depends on tourists and they don't come to ski brown mountains. Honestly though, it seams like every year since I was a kid people around Northern California have been huddled in corners muttering about drought. If it doesn't snow this year life will go on, and maybe next year will make up for it. OR maybe we will whine about no snow in December and then complaine about too much snow in May when we are sick of shoveling it.
I have been diligently trying to get Noah to eat food this week. Every evening we sit down and try to convince him that to eat the tasteless slimy stuff they call "baby food". So far, he hates all of it and I can't really blame him. After days of rejection (lips tight shut, back arched, hands pushing spoon away) over cereal I decided to try some vegetables and the only thing I had in the cuppoard was peas. I opened the jar and the smell just about made me puke. Why do we make our kids eat this crap? He actually ate a few bites before deciding he hated it so I guess thats something, but I decided I'm not going to make my kid eat something that I wouldn't eat. I talked to one of my friends up here and she said she just buys organic frozen peas and puts them in a blender for her little boy. That sounds a lot better to me. I have hated mushy overcooked vegetables since for as long as I can remember and I dont' want to push them on my kid. Tonight I was sick of rejection so I gave him a few grapes in one of those safety feeder (He LOVED them and cried when we tried to take them away) and some applesauce. The applesauce was the first thing he has actually opened his mouth for when he sees the spoon coming. I don't know what I'm going to do. I know he can't just eat applesauce and grapes. Hopefully I will find something a little more "food" like that he doesn't hate.
Once again, any ideas would be appreciated.

Texas

2008-12-03T16:46:00.000-08:00

We are back from Texas now and getting back in the groove of things. Noah did awesome on both plane rides and fell right back into his "routine" ( I say that very loosely). We had a BLAST visiting with everyone. While in Texas we:
1. ate ridiculous amounts of turkey and pie
2. worked on an attic
3. played with babies
4. built a hydrogen fuel cell
5. played with babies
6. ate more pie
7. ate breakfast tacos and gorditas from sweet taco stands
8. played with babies some more
9. hung out with good people and old friends
10. played golf in the rain (actually just the guys :) I put the kids down for a nap and watched the lion king)
11. and then ate some more.

Here are some of the pictures.

Kelly playing with Noah

hanging out with Camile on Kellys sweet couch

Sherry and Ricky who let us invade their house and raid the fridge every day

Chris and Kass washing up

Waiting for Pizza

Noah with a spit goatee from bouncing like a crazy boy in the jumper seat

wink

just hanging out

Camile can do this neat trick where she gets all five toes in her mouth

cutie pie :)

And here are some from before we left.
Noah looking like a Tahoe kid and playing with his favorite cups.

Family

2008-11-17T09:47:00.000-08:00

My hair is falling out all over the place. Its disgusting. I feel like I leave chunks of it everywhere I go. I'm worse than the dog. I heard this would happen as my hormones go back to normal but....yuck. Anyway I need my hormones! I'm still feeding the kid, if they decided to leave me now I'll be screwed!

We went to my parents this weekend. Mom made me promise that we would come down before Thanksgiving since we will be in Texas ;) over the holiday. I got to get breakfast with Merie and Sarah, my two best friends from Highschool, Saturday morning. It was good and also strange to sit together and goof off like we used to except now we are all in different stages of parenthood. Sarah has three little boys (age 1, 2, and 3), I have Noah (age 5months) and Merie is pregnant (about 2 months along but she has had 4 miscarriages this year and she's pretty scared). A lot of life has happened and Highschool was almost a decade ago but we still had a good time.

We made Tortilla soup (Sherry's recipe) Saturday night and had a housefull of good friends and family for my birthday. It was noisy and busy and exahausting and wonderdful. My family got me a REAL toolbox to replace my cheesy plastic thing and Kass was sneaky and got me a beautiful painting of the cliff dwellings in Mesa Verde that my Aunt painted while she was the "Artist in Residence" there. It is awesome and I was completely un-suspecting. My husband is cool :).

Sunday we has a baby shower for Merie's little sister who is due in the middle of December. We made shishkabobs and burgers and once again it was exhausting and good. As we were getting home from the shower my little brother called and invited us and Miah and Callie over to his place for a bonfire. He has an old shredded barn than he is burning one piece at a time so when we got there the flames were about 20ft tall. Noah didn't know what to think. He had this "shock and awe" look on his face and wouldn't even look at anything or anyone else until the flames had gone down. Even then it was hard to pull him away. I may have a pyro in the making. It was a good good time. We roasted hotdogs on 10 foot poles and we still had to hide our faces because of the heat. We sang along with Lynard Skynard and Hank Williams songs, drank good beer, and talked. Noah fell asleep in Josh's arms and slept on his Aunt Callie for a while. I don't think anything could make me want to live in that valley again but spending time with my family is definitely worth the drive

Fair Trade Moo-Moo's (sp?)

2008-11-06T19:12:00.000-08:00

It is mandatory to listen to this song while reading this post

I've been feeling convicted lately about where the stuff we wear comes from. I started looking at seams and details and I actually thought about a person stitching my clothes together rather than just imagining a machine pumping stuff out like in the cartoons. Then I started doing research... this is always a bad idea if you don't really want to change what you are doing. Anyway, now when I dress my beautiful boy I read the "made in Indonesia" label and I know that it is more than likely that whatever I am holding was made in sweatshop conditions by women working 12-15 hours a day for pennies who are beaten and insulted and sometimes raped by their supervisors so Walmart can sell me this cute little number for $3.99. Yuck.
So...I thought... "I'll just buy "Fair Trade" labeled stuff because I know those people get taken care of" and then I spent one of Noah's naps trying to find ethically made clothes. the options are: $40 tee-shirts made in Bethlehem (THE Bethlehem), $200 jeans, and Hippie Moo-Moo's. Don't get me wrong, someday when I'm 80 and/or $300lbs I might love a good Moo-Moo but I'm not ready to make that transition yet. The world is way too complicated when just buying underwear presents an ethical dilemma (sweatshop dainties or go commando??). Whatever happened to the good old days you just walked out to the barn, sheared a sheep, and made some mittens? I was thoroughly disgusted and ready to just go naked when I found a very cool website that put together all the bits and pieces from the NGO's out there that have been inspecting factories and such for the past 20 years and filing reports that we never care enough to read. I was HUGELY relieved to find some normal stuff (like Levis) on the good-guys list. I put a link to the site over on the left there (Better World somethingorother)just in case anyone else is as neurotic as I am.
Noah is getting more and more engaged in whats going on around him everyday. This week he has mastered rolling (at least front to back) figured out how a teeter-totter works, and grabbed two handfulls of dog cheeks (Lucy took it like a champ). Last night he slept good (until 5:15am and then again until 9) which was heaven, I was able to get some work done in the morning and then play with Noah and Lucy during the afternoon. Its so amazing to watch how fast he grows and changes. One fun things about now is that when I pick him up from a nap he says "lllla", hugs my shoulder with both arms and then starts chewing on it. :)

re-programing Noah (again) and other things

2008-11-05T10:50:00.000-08:00

Daylight savings time ended but I am having trouble explaining the concept to Noah. He was used to getting up at 5 to eat and then go back to bed. Now that the time has changed eating time is now 4am , sometimes 3:30am. I am really lost about how to get this sorted out. If I let him cry he just gets mad and screams which means all three of us loose sleep until I get up and go feed him. Maybe its just going to take some time.
We had our first real snow of the season yesterday and as I was coming out of the polling place in the morning I saw (and was almost part of) my first accident of the season. The roads were a solid sheet of ice from the freezing rain turned to snow and the sun had been up just long enough to put a nice film of water on top (fun fun fun). Usually winter driving doesn't really bother me, its just a matter of slowing down and being prepared but I'm feeling neurotic now because of Noah. I was supposed to go down to Carson yesterday and I was planning on taking Noah since I don't have anyone to watch him. I was so freaked out about that other car almost hitting me that I couldn't make myself drive my baby over the pass and Kass ended up taking him to work so I could make my meeting. Its going to be a long winter. It makes me want a giant 4x4 like a hummer or something. Not because I think they are any better for driving in the snow than my little jeep but because bigger seems better when you are playing "dodge the flat-landers".
Kass was scheduled to be sent away for 2 weeks on a fire rehab assignment but on the day before he was scheduled to leave (monday) it was canceled due to weather. The thought of loosing my husband for such a long time has made me really appreciate him for what he is: my partner/best friend/lover/confidant/baby sitter/bread-winner/link to sanity/anchor/ I could go on and on. I really would be lost without him.
So here's to Kass, and rain in Weaverville!

Tasty stamps and diapers

2008-10-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

I just mailed the tastiest post cards ever. I was just expecting the typical "flag" stamps for postcards but then the guy behind the counter whipped out these amazing tropical fruit beauties. There were papayas, star fruit, mangoes, kiwis, and maybe more I can't remember. They were beautiful and amazing and made me happy. I love stamps. I don't want to collect them, I want to send them to people. Once I got superhero stamps and I would even get excited sending bills off because I was imagining that maybe the person opening them at ATT would actually take a minute to look at "Iron Man." Maybe I'm just lying to myself but it makes me happy.
So actually there have been lots of tasty things about this week. I made some tasty bananna oatmeal date cookies and ate them all ( I think Kass maybe got 2), Noah decided that his swing was tasty (see blurry photo of him licking the seat).... and then there was lucy.
So... I use standard pre-fold cloth diapers and if the covers are a little gross I leave them on the top of the diaper bucket to wash with the diapers later. I had changed a particularly poopy diaper and the cover was pretty gross so I folded it up and set it on top of the bucket to throw in the wash. When I came back into the room a while later I saw that the cover was on the floor, on closer inspection I saw that the cover was also SUBSTANTIALLY cleaner than when I had last seen it. Since it was only me, Noah, and Lucy in the house and I haven't quite taught Noah how to wash his own diapers, I can only assume that the good samaratin responsible for this particular act was Lucy. I told Kass when he came home and he looked at Lucy, wrinkled up his nose and said "outside lucy, I don't even want to look at you" which I think is a little harsh since HE never washes the diapers. Of couse considering his Facebook profile picture its understandable. There has been much fewer displays of affected between my husband and his dog since then.
I think was have got Noah on a good schedule finally. After a few nights of crying we are able to feed him and put him down around 8:30 and have him sleep until about 5:30 or 6. I am SOOO glad to have that last feeding (around 10:30 or 11pm) gone. That one really kicked my butt.
We were playing with adding songs to my blog. We put waiting for superman up on that post so you can listen too it if you really care. Here is some Feist just for fun.

Backpacking with Babies

2008-10-21T20:41:00.000-07:00

Last weekend Kass and I decided to go on an overnighter with Noah. We have been wanting to get out all summer but he was too small to go far in his pack and then the weather started to get cold so we kept putting it off. We figured this would be out last chance to get out for the summer so, after looking up a million ways to keep a baby warm and reading blogs of other outdoor types with kids we packed our stuff and headed out. We picked an easy hike in a beautiful canyon just west of Bridgeport (buckeye creek) and we figured we would hike in about 4 miles to the big meadow, camp and maybe do a short day hike the next day before heading back out. The hike in was great except for a little rain. We got to our camp with enough time to make dinner in the daylight and get Noah down for a nap. Everything was going pretty smooth until it got cold. Apparently (and you may already know this) babies don't LIKE to be cold. Apparently babies don't GET the backpacking concepts of "make do" and "do without." I had Noah bundled up in layers of pajamas and socks and booties and beanies and swaddlers and topped it off by zipping him up in my down coat but I couldn't cover his face without suffocating him and every time he hit the 45min sleep cycle, he woke up screaming. Not just crying, SCREAMING. Screaming like a dying rabbit in bear country. This was a little nerve wracking for us for several reasons. First of all, the baby wasn't happy and that concerns us. Secondly the baby wasn't sleeping which means we weren't sleeping and that is also a problem. Finally, we were camping in a very isolated area just outside of Yosemite. We had hung ALL of our food and toothpaste etc. in an effort to keep certain large wild animals out of out tent and suddenly we had a small angry person sounding a lot like something that might make a tasty snack. We didn't hear anything go "bump" in the night but it was a LONG, LONG night. I figure I got about 2 hours of sleep and the rest of the time I spent checking Noah's feet to make sure he was warm enough, watching the water bottle freeze, and trying to get as much of my sleeping bag as I could to cover my poor shivering dog. Needless to say, we didn't go on any day hikes the next day. We finally crawled out of our tent when after the sun had warmed it up, ate breakfast and started to pack up camp while Noah took a nap, but we ended up just crashing out and sleeping with him.
I was desperate to get out and it was such a beautiful hike but I know that with my newly aquired wisdom and experience I will not be taking any 4 month olds for backpacking trips unless the projected low is way WAY above freezing. Ok, scratch that, I will not be backpacking with my son until he is old enough to carry his own pack and tough enough to sleep through the cold. Thats why God made Grandmas.

On another note, Kass and I went to check out a day-care place yesterday. We have been watching our bank account dwindle and I decided to try to add another day at the office. We found a neat lady out in Meyers. I really like her style and I feel like Noah will be safe and loved with her but its still hard to think about leaving him with someone. Especially someone I don't even know. I am so lucky that my work is flexible and that I can work from home. That means I only have to have him in day-care for one day a week instead of three or four or even five like some of the mom's I know. I shouldn't whine ....

My son is cool because: When he is really concentrating on something he gets his special "thinking" face. He starts sucking on his tongue. Its awesome. I will try hard to get a picture of him in action.

hats off to marriage baby

2008-10-15T09:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my parents had their 30th wedding anniversary. I think that's really really cool. I remember how excited my dad was on their 18th anniversary. He kept telling everyone, "she's been with me longer than she's been without me!" Thinking about them made me realize that me and Kass are coming up on 7 years. We have been married longer than the entire time I spent in college, longer than highschool and junior high (which seemed like FOREVER), and longer than grade school which was pretty much a lifetime all by itself. The funny thing is that the last 6.5 years together have just slipped by. I have noticed and savored all the things we have done together (New Mexico, backpacking, road trips, Wyoming, finishing school, more backpacking, learning to climb, lots and lots of snow, delivering phonebooks, getting lucy, Vegas with the Kozloskis, moving to Tahoe, lots more snow, skiing stuff we'd be afraid to walk down, Kelly and Matt, even more backpacking, and now...noah.) but I can't seem to put a finger on when we started off together. It seems like we just blurred together into one person or one item and now even when I think of being a kid I feel like Kass is part of those old memories.
30 years. I haven't even lived that long. I wonder where we will be when that anniversary comes around.

This weekend Kass' mom and aunt were here. They took care of Noah so we could get out a little bit. This weekend Noah leaned how to roll over, forgot how to sleep through the night (again) and then forgot how to roll over. I think that puts us at a loss for the week. Besides that he decided that he HATES rice cereal now. When I try to give him some he hides his head and If I can actually get any in his mouth he raspberries his lips and sprays it all over. (sigh) So... I figure that he's not sleeping through the night because he's waking up hungry but then when he wakes up he only eats about half of a normal meal and then want to go back to sleep. Does that mean he's not hungry? Is he just waking up because he thinks its fun? I don't want to get back into the every-four-hour routine.... I'm a little lost here. I guess I will try cereal in a bottle again and see if I can fill him up that way. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Noah with his Grandma

Trying to get back on the blanket

ok fine.

2008-10-15T09:21:00.001-07:00

ummm....
1. I pick my nose.
2. I am extremely jealous of people who look good in dresses and I secretly want to be them.
3. I still like Matchbox20 even though I'm all grown up and have much cooler indy music to listen too now.
4. During my all time (so far) stay-at-home low a few weeks ago I watched Britney Spears and Jonas Brothers videos on U-Tube ( I am ashamed and have nothing to say for myself except that I didn't enjoy it and I don't know what made me do it...hormones???).
5. I'm a little afraid of mentally handicapped people ever since watching The Village. I know thats pathetic and I try really hard not to let it stop me from doing anything that I should but there it is.

heredity or environment?

2008-10-09T16:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Kass was home sick so I stuck him with Noah and worked like a maniac. I didn't even get out of my pajamas until 4. I just sat at the table and made maps maps and more maps. I got almost everything done so tomorrow I can hopefully just work a short day in Carson and get home to play with everyone! Today I've been cleaning the house and playing with Noah and only worked for an hour or so. I feel MUCH more relaxed. Noah isn't screaming through his naps today either so that helps. While I was scrubbing the counters and obsessing about soap scum I kept thinking of my dad. My whole life I gave him crap about the way he would insist on cleaning under the refrigerator before we went on vacation or his seeming addiction to vacuuming. I haven't actually moved the fridge to get at the gunk but I have to admit that my vacuuming frequency has gone WAY up. I can hear his voice in my head telling me that just because the couch is third-hand and 30 years old doesn't mean I can stick ink-pens in it and that shoving all my junk into the closet doesn't count as cleaning my room. Its kinda scary how this stuff all seems to make more sense the older I get. I am, as much as I try to fight it, slowing turning into my father. I just hope I can cherry-pick a little bit and not get as nutty as I think he is sometimes. Since I have noticed this trend over the last few years I have been really trying not to get in the habit of over committing myself and to actually DO the things that I say I am going to do. Its a little scary this parenting stuff. How do we protect our kids from ourselves and our parents? I just don't want to get obsessive. I guess part of wisdom is knowing when to do something and when to just let it slide. We all pray for that.
Noah was given a couple of walkers and a jumping thing by one of the ladies that I work with. He loves them! I think he feels more like one of us when he can sit up or stand up "all by himself." I tried really hard to get a picture of him laughing in his jumping thing but I always missed the moment.

waiting for superman

2008-10-06T19:49:00.000-07:00

Today was rough. Noah was really needy and screamed through almost all of his naps. He doesn't have a fever and seems happy when he's being held so I don't know what the deal is. I have 8 big water rights maps to get done by the end of the week so I am stressed about that and I was hoping to get a few hours in today while Noah was sleeping but I guess it wasn't meant to be. It feels like I worked all day and ignored my son but when I looked at my hours I only had about 2. Its so hard when he gets like this. It makes me feel like I'm missing something, like maybe there is something obviously wrong and if I just knew what it was I could have my sweet happy boy back. Kass's mom and aunt are going to be here Thursday night and stay for the weekend. Hopefully I can get all my work done so that they can take care of Noah for a while and me and Kass can go play this weekend. I am going to be so miserable if this project turns into weekend-work. I haven't been able to use cloth diapers because Noah grew out of his diaper covers and I haven't made new ones. I should have just ordered them but I keep thinking that I am going to have time... I guess energy is what I am really lacking. Obviously I could be sewing diaper covers right now but I'm not. This week I definetly need a clone. One of me could be working and cleaning the house for company and the other one could be playing with my boy, running errands, and relaxing. Just one of me is not going to get all this done unless I quit stop blogging and go do something usefull (sigh). Ok, this is me being motivated...
oh, Noah got to meet Uncle Earl and Aunt Joan this weekend. Thats sort of a big deal. We went to see them for the first time since I got pregnant (almost a year exactly). Uncle Earl is in bad shape and is having trouble getting around but Joanie was good and she LOVED Noah. They were pretty happy together. That was more than I expected but I forgot that she has some really young grandkids back east.
ok, time to feed Noah.
The title of this blog is my theme song.
Waitin For A Superman [Radio Edit] - The Flaming Lips

Noah has an opinion

2008-09-29T18:13:00.001-07:00

I can only describe it as RAGE. Noah has suddenly decided that he has an opinion about going to bed. Usually when he cries it because he's over tired, a little frantic, lonely, hungry, hurt, or something else that makes me feel sorry for him. Lately he's been just plain mad. I can just about see murder in his eyes as I tuck him into bed for his nap, then the screaming starts. Sheesh. Fortunately he doesn't do this every time or I think I might go nuts. After he thrashes and howls himself to sleep he is my sweet little boy again.
I've started giving Noah a little cereal at night and he has also decided that he likes it. REALLY likes it. When he sees the spoon coming he opens his mouth really wide and starts bouncing on my lap, he can hold out until its about six inches from his face and then he gets overwhelmed and stuffs both his fists into his mouth and starts chowing on them. I appreciate his enthusiasm but it makes it a little hard to actually get the food IN. Last night I had to try to pin his arms down at the same time as I was holding him up, holding the cereal cup, and maneuvering the spoon. (babies are funny little dudes).
We have continued our baby adventures. This weekend we went hiking and off-roading and Noah bagged his first peak (granted we drove most of the way and then he was packed up the rest but he did sit on the top and drool on some rocks).

chopped!

2008-09-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

I chopped off my hair! It was just long enough to donate (finally!). I realize now that I will be growing it out for a long time but I needed a change. Now I need to give Kass a haircut so mine isn't shorter than his.
Check out Noah and his sweet tie-dye diggs.

Fire in the disco!

2008-09-24T19:26:00.000-07:00

So I talked to my boss today. He is ok with me just working 20 hours but only because he doesn't really have a choice. I have the feeling that I will have to be careful or I will end up working weekends and evenings just to keep up. I had to go to a bunch of meetings with project managers today and Noah came with me. He was really good and only tried to projectile vomit on one person (they were just out of range so it was ok). I managed to meet with everyone I needed to talk with and then bought some food and headed up the hill. When I came home there was a fire in the meadow by our house and helicopters and firetrucks were all over the place trying to put it out. It only burned a few acres but it was exciting for a few minutes. Kelly called right when it was at its worst and I was trying to figure out if I should start packing the car.
I kind of feel like I have jumped into the deep end of the pool as far as work is concerned. There is a lot of work that needs to be done in the next few weeks and I'm not sure that I am going to be able to get it all done. I guess I'll just have to figure it out but I'm feeling a little stressed just thinking about it. When I feel rushed I try to work when Noah is awake and that is no fun for either of us. He gets bored and lonely and I feel like a jerk. Hopefully everything will go smoothly... I don't know if I am ready for this yet. I wish I had a Grandma close by :)

life

2008-09-23T20:41:00.000-07:00

So... recent updates:
Lucy has officially accepted Noah as a member of the family. She indicated this by bringing him her "squeaky toy of happiness" so he could throw it for her.
Today Noah learned that he could make himself puke by shoving his thumb far enough down his throat. He makes faces like he doesn't enjoy it but then does it anyway (I guess there's just not that much exciting stuff in his life). Today had a lot of puking.
Tomorrow I have to go down to Carson with Noah to talk to my boss and tell him that I only want to work half time and that I want to work half of that from home. I'm not sure how that's going to go over so your prayers would be appreciated.
I guess thats about it. Its starting to get cold at night. I'm excited about fall but I can't figure out where the summer went. Noah loves his dad. Kass comes home and Noah can't take his eyes off him. Kass can get him to laugh by just standing in front of him (I have to tap dance on the ceiling). That makes me very very happy.

Cutesy Stuff

2008-09-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

I wrote this big long vent but then I chickened out, so in lue of that, here are some pictures of Noah from our adventures this week.

Hanging out with Kass

Smiling in his sleep

Getting ready to go hike

Theology and Weights

2008-09-17T18:18:00.001-07:00

Being a parent is really scary. I have to stop myself from freaking out and thinking about all the millions of ways that my son could get himself killed about three times a day, sometimes more. I really don't know how I am going to survive this whole "child rearing" thing. Every time I see something on the news about a kid getting hurt or killed I see MY kid. Even in movies, if a kid gets hurt or worse I imagine MY boy in that situation. My throat closes and I start to panic just THINKING about it. How am I going to keep from being one of those neurotic over-protective moms that never let their kids out of their sight? How does any parent? How did the world get so scary all of the sudden? I guess we all just take it one day at a time and pray.
Today I was sort of hanging on to my sanity by a thread. I was trying to make my reluctant boy eat, trying to work, trying to talk to the Jehova's Witness lady that comes by every wednesday, and trying not to eat crap, and trying to motive myself to do something and get out of the house. Finally I got Noah down for a nap, snuck into his room to get my weights, and worked off some of my neurosis. Its amazing what a little physical work can do for your mind. Now Kass is home, there is good music playing and I can watch the boys hang out together ( one of my new favorite pastimes). I don't feel entirely sane but I feel better.

Things that made me happy today

2008-09-16T20:18:00.001-07:00

1. Noah looking at his hands
2. 45 min of yoga and a sleeping baby
3. old man polishing his socks and sandals before going into supermarket
4. Rain
5. Kass

Camping (sort of)

2008-09-14T22:34:00.000-07:00

We took Noah camping for the second time this weekend. We picked a beautiful place, down the canyon toward Sacramento, on the American river.....right next to the highway, in a crowded campgroud, next to some dorks. Well, actually the dorks weren't there when we picked our spot so we can't blame ourselves for that. We could have dealt with the noise alright but at about midnight, when Noah was sleeping good, the dorks started blowing things up at their campsite. When I say "blowing things up" I really mean it. These were BIG booms. Like an M80 or maybe like they put chilli cans in their campfire. So.. Noah woke up crying, Lucy tried to crawl under the tent, and I threw my clothes on and stormed out of the tent to yell at our neighbors. By the time I got to their campsite I had lost some steam and all I could do was scold them severely rather than beating them to a pulp like I started out with a mind to do. Of course the fact that they were four big guys might have had something to do with it. Honestly... sheesh. There were no more explosions though and I heard our other neighbor reading them the riot act after I got back to my tent which made me feel a little better. So, we slept a little and in the morning we packed up and went to explore some nice lakes nearby and to take Noah for his first real hike. He did pretty good, except he falls over on his left side all the time and we had to keep straightening him up to keep him out of the sun. It was a good day and we got to see some new country and get out of the house.

Laughing

2008-09-10T20:11:00.001-07:00

Laughing
Originally uploaded by Kass & Rachel

Here is the video of Noah laughing and playing with Kass.

"Trainings"

2008-09-10T19:59:00.001-07:00

This has been a big week for Noah. He has actually started to like being on his stomach, he has "brought his hands to center" (Kelly thinks that's important), laughed, and this evening he went for his first ride in the backpack carrier. He did really well and since we were already planning on camping this weekend we might actually get to hike! (at least a short hike)
Kass' eyes lit up when he saw Noah in the pack. We have been hoping that we would be able to do some hikes this fall but we didn't know when the boy would be ready. We got a pack for Lucy too since we are hoping to do a few short backpacking trip (overnighters) before it gets too cold. She HATES her pack. She won't even fetch while she is wearing it. Today when we left for our walk she sat in the driveway and whined at us for a few seconds before she would follow. i must say she looks rather dashing in her pack. Sort of like a "rescue dog."
This week I have been researching vaccines and and now almost totally freaked out. I don't have to make an real decisions for three or four more weeks (Noah's 4 month appointment) but.....argh! There is some really scary stuff our there. Having a kid has made me pray more than I have ever prayed in my life! I just keep praying for wisdom for us and protection for Noah.
Tonight I am going to try mixing a little bit of rice cereal with Noah's milk to see if it will help him sleep longer. He has gone from sleeping 8-9 hours a night to waking up 5 hours after I put him down. A few friends have recommended trying the cereal so I'll give it a shot and see if it helps.

Kass' mechanical adventure

2008-09-07T15:43:00.001-07:00

Kass just got done hacking a hole in the most expensive thing we own (the car) with a steak knife. It sounds pretty bad and he wouldn't let me take pictures but now we have CRUISE CONTROL!!!! We are slowing making our plain jane car cooler. Power locks are next ;).

Here is a picture of Noah crashed out after "helping" i.e. demanding to be in the middle of everything, and Kass and Noah hanging out.

Kids are cool

2008-09-04T16:21:00.001-07:00

Noah started laughing this week. The first time he laughed for a while and then I think he freaked himself out a bit and he started crying (poor little dude). Yesterday he started laughing again when Kass was playing with him but he quit as soon as I went to get the camera. I can't wait to get a video, he's awesome.

workin' for the man

2008-09-04T15:44:00.000-07:00

I need to preface this by saying that I work for the best group of people that I have even heard of. They treat everyone in the company like family and will do anything to help you out. I get paid well, have benefits, get to work from home while I am taking care of Noah....and I want to quit.
I know it doesn't make sense but I just don't feel like I am doing anything for the "greater good." My work involved pushing through environmental documents so that ski areas and developers can get bigger and better and make more money. The only people benefiting are corporations and rich American and European tourists who need more powder to play in. I guess I just want to know that the work I am doing is benefiting something other than my bank account.
I thought about this for a long time yesterday and I decided that I really need to find a way to do something good for the people around me outside of work. At least until Noah is in school I'm probably not going to be working full time and since I have such a "great" job, or at least a great job situation I should be greatful for it. Maybe God has something else for me to do in my community and I'm missing it because I am so worried about why I'm not in Botswana helping reverse desertification. I sincerely hope that there will be a time and a place for that as well. Not right now doesn't mean not ever.

2008-09-03T20:54:00.000-07:00

These are the best pictures of any baby that I have ever had.

Giving up on Facebook

2008-09-03T20:51:00.000-07:00

so, Kass says facebook is the "future" but I think it sucks. Its just a bunch of junk and stupid confusing wall postings. Maybe I just don't get it but I"m ok with that. See. this is much easier.
I've already put up something that tells you more about me that my facebook profile.